It Must Be Jelly Cuz Jam Don't Shake Like That!!

Sometimes I feel like this is the only place I can truly express my feelings and let me be myself for once. I spend so much of my time and energy projecting a happy, bubbly person when I really am not. I put on a mask every day so that the people around me see what I want them to see. Sometimes the mask has cracks and people question or wonder, but they never can fathom the true depth of loneliness or hurt that I feel from day to day.

I cannot wait to leave this state and go to a place where the people don't look at me and assume I am a whore and a home wrecker. I am tired of those terms being used with my name, because I am anything but that. I am just a regular girl and I am sick and tired of the confrontations. Of people demanding to know what I am doing and then not believing a word that comes out of my mouth. It's not fair to me one bit and I am so sick of it.

Okay, so men seem to flock to me. I can't help that they are shallow. I don't want any part of any of them, but as soon as a guy so much as looks at me, their girl is all over me that I am trying to steal him away.

I would rather be left alone anyways. Relationships don't work. More than half of them fall apart. I look at my facebook feed and see all of these relationships fall apart and now I see all these single mom's who are trying to keep going when their man walks out on them. That's not worth it to me. Sometimes the companionship is nice, but most times it is just more trouble than it is worth.

While sleep is needed, I doubt it will come easy tonight with my mind so jumbled and my feelings so hurt by just a few simple words. Tomorrow is a busy day, but at the end of it I am leaving this horrible place and aiming south to the warmth and comfort of vacation and being away from the awfulness of life here.

~Dragon Eyes~