Grab the Small Balls

Seriously, that song that goes "I whip my hair back and forth" is the most annoying song I have ever heard. Who the hell cares about you if you whip your hair back and forth. I am praying your neck breaks and shuts your annoying whiny voice up. Okay. Rant is done. I just really hate that song on so many levels.

Apparently Chino totally showed up that know it all and show it off girl Aylin today. He said it was the greatest moment to be a difficult client during our roleplay. Apparently she and the other new guy Ian kind of took it hard instead of laughing about it. Jared, Jason and I had a grand old time. Jared used competition to motivate me and Jason. When Jason took on the trainer and tried to get us to use medicine balls, he told me to go grab the small balls and Jared and I (who both have extremely dirty minds) burst out laughing and couldn't stop.

I also think I have pulled something in either my shoulder or my pectoralis major. It hurts like a bitch occasionally. I am going to slap on a heat pack tomorrow morning and make it through school and training with Brian and then I have my two hour massage. That is going to be heaven for me and my messed up body. My shoulder or pec is pulled, then my back is sore and painful again and my legs feel like they have been run over by a truck, sent through a meat grinder, thrown off a cliff, rolled over again, kneaded a bit and then glued back together. Crazy description but that's the only way I can describe how messed up my legs feel. Stupid lunges.

I would go into the horses today but that thought just doesn't appeal to me. All you need to know is that Beau was crazy and then a pain to ride and the footing was crap which made it worse. Grady was good, but wild. Can't wait to ride him on Thursday! And that's all.

Now bedtime!!!

~Dragon Eyes~

Strippers, Truckers and Trash

This is what happens in business class when the instructor steps out and we all freak out since none of us really have no idea what the hell is going on. We are working on business plans and need to create a business that we want to open. Jared aka Duke was pulling fun at how our classmate Jason wanted to work with strippers. And somehow we got Strippers, Truckers and Trash for a gym title. We were all dying and it became blog title worthy. I seriously have no idea what the hell is going on in that business class but I seem to be getting full points for everything that I have been turning in, so I guess it can't really be that bad.

Kathleen and I ended up working out with Brian and three other instructors after school today. It was a good time, because it gave more people for Brian to train and gave him two extra sets of eyes to watch what he was doing, how he was teaching so we could give him feedback. I think he did quite well for having two new people thrown in real quick, but he handled it well, though I think he needs so help when it comes to planning a circuit, but circuits are hard, so I give him a lot of credit. I am supposed to go again on Wednesday with Kathleen and keep doing this for at least 8 weeks if not more. I am kind of excited and I seem to work out better with people around me. Kathleen and I are going to see if we can eventually get together and work out together and maybe jog and such.

I am also going to go look at Gold's Gym tomorrow (hopefully). While I like the YMCA, it's too expensive and Gold's Gym just seems to have a lot to offer and is cheaper, and my classmates who go there love it and the atmosphere. I am going to check it out and see what rolls.

~Dragon Eyes~

It's All Fun and Games Until the Shark Comes

So I got the most amazing app for my phone! I am a shark and I get to swim around and eat fish and people! AMAZING! Unfortunately my phone decided that this was not so hot and now continually turns itself on and off to the point where I have to pull the battery and make it sit to make it stop. I have no idea what the hell this is but it is seriously making me spaz out. I am going to have to test it tomorrow at school and see if it will play any games without freaking out and dying. I think it was overheating but who the hell knows with these smart phones. I will be very put out if it decides no to work at all. But I am going to be positive.

I am currently so bored that I am trying my hardest to find something to do. I hate being bored and it's even worse when there is nothing that makes you interested. I don't feel like reading or writing or knitting. Farmville is not working for my computer right now so that's out. I could organize my exercises that I got off of the Women's Health Magazine. That might be where I end up. I would play the Wii for a bit but my dad has claimed the living room television. Maybe I'll play with it when he falls asleep. But knowing my luck he won't. Oh well. I guess I could try out exercises and such. I figure the more knowledge I have the better off I'll be in the end.

I pretty much did all my homework. Though I could look over stuff, but I could do that in a little bit to make me sleepy or something. Until then I am just going to putz around.

~Dragon Eyes~

Grandma is Driving Faster Than You!!

I have been bad at blogging this month. I am not sure why, but I have been slacking big time. So I am going to try and do better. We will see how long that lasts.

Thanksgiving with my family and Brian went really well. We managed to make all of the food and the stuffing and gravy tasted exactly like Babci's. It was hard, but somehow we managed to do it and I think in a lot of ways it was one of the most enjoyable Thanksgivings that we have had in a long time. We were surrounded by food and each other. Caring people who just want to have a good time. There was no bickering and my Dad carved the turkey. He's never carved it before. My uncle always has and he and my aunt are practically at each others throats about it so it was nice that it went smoothly and we laughed and had a good time. It would have been even better if Babci had been here, but, to tell you the truth, she was there. She was looking down and smiling because she was so proud of everything that we managed to do. And that's what makes me even happier.

Today I spent most of the day out at the barn. The vet came and looked at Grady again and he ended up getting his pastern and coffin bone injected with two different types of injections. We believe that that is going to really help him. He has a bandage on his leg now, but it comes off tomorrow and on Thursday he can go back into work. So for the next few days he rests and gets hand walked and then it's back to the grind. I am really hoping all this is going to really help him. He is probably going to have to get his hocks injected again in the spring, but we aren't worrying about that right now. He hasn't had them injected in almost 8 years so it's understandable.

Well, now that I am caught up on the biggest loser and such I am going to go relax for a little bit and then hit the sack.

~Dragon Eyes~

It Looks Like Stuffing

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it will definitely be different this year. Babci being gone is probably going to be the hardest. She has been there for as long as I can remember and just her warmth and everything will be missed. The real challenges are trying to recreate the foods that she has made throughout the years. Tomorrow it is going to be the stuffing and gravy that will be a challenge. She has always made both, so we are kind of trying to recreate how she made it. Fortunately, Dad knows pretty much how the stuffing was made and they worked on it this evening. According to him and Mom it looks and tastes like her stuffing. Or pretty darn close. And the no fail gravy recipe from Rachael Ray will be interesting as well. Good thing those are the only experimental dishes. It will also be different since we won't be with Aunt Carol and Uncle John. They have been completely ridiculous and we are all waiting for them to go to Florida and never come back. Yay for falling out with relatives. Sarcasm. But it won't just be the four of us this year. Our friend Brian from Eastern will be joining us. He has kind of become a member of our family randomly but it's okay because he fits in well with us.

My massage today went really well. I really enjoy just lying there and having someone work out all of my kinks. Bethany is awesome at what she does and it's really cool when she remembers things like my horses and my program at Branford Hall. She wanted to try heat on me today but things got crazy and we didn't do it. But next week I have a 2 hour massage with her to do the heat that will enable her to get deeper into the tissues and try to break up some of the adhesions that are in my back. I am hoping all this will make my back feel good long term. That would be amazing!

Also I ended up working with the show off girl in my class today. Boy, Chino was right about her being negative and such. But with all that she gave me her weakness and now I will use it against her. My classmate Jason did the same thing. He told me he wasn't great at abs and never liked doing them. So I made him do a lot of them. This girl was very negative about the stability ball. I made her use that thing until she was blue in the face. I put her in her place a little bit and proved that I do indeed know more seeing as I came up with like 20 different exercises with the stability ball in about 5 minutes. Oh I am good!

~Dragon Eyes~

I Only Have Half a Bathing Suit!

Unfortunately the bathing suit I ordered came in the mail today. And in trying it on I rediscovered all of the reasons why I abhor bathing suits. Who ever thought tight fitting, skimpy things would be attractive. Okay, maybe on a person who is the size of a toothpick, but that's about it. I will gladly stay covered, thank you very much.

My sister's bathing suit bottom got back ordered. I was reading business stuff in my room when all I hear is, "I only have half a bathing suit!" It made reading business that much better. I guess I am just having one of those fat days. After Thanksgiving I am whipping my rear in gear because I need to keep up my image.

And speaking of image and school. This is the first time since I have started Branford Hall that I consistently have the aggressive, jealous competitive "I must prove I'm better" feeling. I usually do not feel the need to compete with others. I don't like to. It's too much work and too much stress. And now I find myself stressed out and cranky. And no, it's not just the holiday drivers. I get along with all of my classmates. We are awesome at helping each other out and giving feedback and showing each other new exercises and such. No one feels the need to show off. No one is negative. And I don't ever feel like I have to prove I am good at what I do. The guys think I am one of them and I get along really well with Joann and Kathleen because the three of us have so much in common with each other and all have goofy personalities and senses of humor. This new girl is different. And is driving me up a wall. Literally.

While she is really nice, it ends there. She already has a personal trainer. That's fine. I was thinking of getting one, but I am now starting to work out with one of my classmates who is training some faculty after school. He got me and Kathleen to join to work out and give him constructive feedback. Now since this girl has a personal trainer she thinks she knows everything. And she loves to show off. She grabs weights that are twice to three times the amount I would use. Not that I couldn't use them. Great, there is that competitiveness again. I know for a fact that I can perform better motions with a smaller weight and I am okay with that. Until now. She's showing off and driving up the competition. I sit there and fume silently because I suddenly feel inadequate and replaced. The funny thing is right now is the first time I am realizing how this girl makes me feel. Wow. I have no become my own therapist.

I suddenly feel inadequate because I was the tough girl who could keep up with the guys and prove to myself and them that I wasn't just a girly girl who couldn't do anything. I guess I have struggled with feeling inadequate for my entire life. People look at me and see that I am a girl. So already I can't do anything manly. And I am blond. Which means I am dumb and can be pushed around and talked down to. No. That is not the case. I am smart and strong and won't let anyone push me around. And I know this. It's taken a long time for me to know this. But I will still feel inadequate at times. I watch other people ride and feel like I am so far below them, and that's apparently not the case according to Gail. Or when I do a simple balance exercise like I did during break today and could do it on one side and not the other. At first I was frustrated, but then I told myself that balance exercises are hard for me and for everyone because everyone is uneven. My back injury also plays in with that as well. But this girl makes it all seem so much worse. She will grab the 15 or 20 pound dumbbells when I would have chosen 5 or 10. It makes me feel weak.

I also feel replaced, because suddenly she is getting attention from everyone and she is the loud one and the crazy one, when I used to be the bubbly out going one. It makes me feel like I am suddenly a wall flower or that her personality overrides and shadows mine. When I get thrown out of my element, I become quiet and shy, and I am slowly slipping back into that role.

And all in all it makes me upset. And that is where this competitive jealousy drive is coming from. I have to prove I am better. And there is no failing in this.

Now I ended up talking to Chino about her at lunch since he was working with her during our functional training. And it was very interesting to hear what he had to say. While he agrees that she is nice, he also believes that she thinks she's better than us because she has a trainer and that what she does is better than all our other exercises. When Chino was showing her a bicep/tricep exercise, she was performing it wrong and stating she didn't feel anything. When Chino corrected her and she performed it right she stated it didn't feel right and she didn't like it and did her own thing. Chino told me that he finds it very hard to work with her because she just has her own agenda and he hates the negativity because it makes him feel like he is inadequate. He told me that she has a great dislike of using small weights and he will let her struggle with the heavy weights just to try and prove a point with her. It's half working. He just thinks we need to knock her ego down a few notches. He also said that he attitude and personality enable her to draw the guys to her because she has that show off attitude. But it is also causing the other girls to hate her and draw away. Kathleen is a meek and quiet person and Joann isn't loud and wild either. And even though I can be loud, I am not obnoxious and I am constantly taking in new information and trying new things.

It's just all so frustrating because I suddenly am thrown out of my element and have no idea how to handle myself with any of it. I put on a smile and fake friendliness, but inside I am seething to my very core. It's just so hard for me to be nice when inside I am screaming to put her in her place. HARD.

Arg. I think I have vented enough for right now. I am sorry about it, but I kind of needed some outlet that wasn't beating this girl's face in. At least this is the last day of class for the week. That makes me feel better, as well as knowing I get to work out with Brian and Kathleen and a couple other women tomorrow as well as an hour long massage.

~Dragon Eyes~

Seriously, Where Did My Pants Go?

I believe that no matter what occurs on a Monday it is still a Monday and Mondays are long and annoying. That's just what I believe. Every Monday I feel exhausted and unmotivated. Followed by, "Will this day ever end?" Yup. That's just every Monday. But that's okay. Monday is practically over and that means one more day closer to pie. I like pie. Now I want pie.

Mondays are also silly days. Because now I seriously want some pie. And I gave myself the hiccups while thinking about all the reasons why I hate Mondays. Yup. That's just how life goes I guess. Maybe my brain is funny from reading about business type stuff all evening. Business is really boring. I don't think I would have the means or motivation to open my own business but I want to be creative and in this class, why not? The only things that make business class bearable is that my classmates are goofy and the instructor is distractingly gorgeous. But enough on that. You don't need to hear all about my instructor's dark hair and rippling muscles.

Also my hair is amazing. I blow dried it for the second time in two days. And the last time I blow dried my hair was probably junior year of high school. If that. And I just want to say it looks amazing. And it dries straight. And I am rambling due to business reading. I also don't really have anything much to say the means anything at the moment.

Seriously, where did my pants go?

~Dragon Eyes~

I Choose Life!!!

Today was the schooling show at Lazy D Ranch. There was an incredibly good turnout and the show went really well, though all the horses were absolutely insane and didn't like one end of the arena. Beau was no exception to this. He was just as wild as ever but somehow we managed to make it through our jumping classes and did really well. Three first places and a third. For not riding him on a regular basis and such I feel like I did incredibly well. I also didn't fall off. It was probably due to the fact that I came in deep to the fences instead of taking huge distances. I choose life!!! Everyone else did really well. Tabitha was being really weird. Remi spooked once real good and she basically walked out of the ring and refused to go back in to jump or ride at all. It was just really weird. My friend Allison who is real close to her says the same thing. It worries all of us because we hate seeing her like this.

Well even thought it's early for me I think I shall be packing in for the night.

~Dragon Eyes~

I Need Supervision. This Store is Dangerous!

I have officially decided that the next time I go to AC Moore craft store I need to go with someone. That store is far too dangerous for me to walk around in alone. I come for one thing and leave with like twelve. It's kind of a problem. Today I went to get one skein of silver yarn. I left with seven and none of them were the silver yarn I went for. I also got a book as well. Seriously, I have to start taking a buddy who will keep me from buying yarn I don't need. Okay, I did need the yarn I bought for Christmas presents, but three of the skeins I bought because they were Christmas themed and would make a really cool scarf. Yeah. I am crazy. Now I just have to madly make scarves and hats and try new projects.

I ended up getting on my horse again and he was actually really good today. He made it the twenty minutes at walk trot and didn't go lame. But then again that was today. Tomorrow might be a different story but I am hoping things will continue to improve for him. I am so tired of not being able to ride him.

Thanksgiving is less than a week away. I am super excited for yummy food, but it is also sad. This will be the first year without my grandma. It just won't be the same. Holidays are what makes me really miss her the most. She was such a big part of Thanksgiving and Christmas that it seems so foreign that she isn't here to celebrate with us anymore. I guess we will just have to make some new traditions.

~Dragon Eyes~

Yes, I'll Admit That I'm Secretly A Potato.

Julian on the Penguins of Madagascar always cracks me up. This one was especially amusing. Some crazy penguin was trying to get information about a red squirrel from him and the penguin finally decided that Julian was nothing but a good for nothing potato. Julian responded with, "Yes, I'll admit I'm secretly a potato." I seriously cracked up for about ten minutes. It was just so random and amazing. And who said cartoons were only for kids.

I completed my gryffindor hat and now I have absolutely no idea what I should make next. My yarn reaches up towards the ceiling of my room and yet I have no motivation to start another project. Hm. I will have to give all of this some thought and see what I can come up with. I was going to make a slytherin hat and scarf but I discovered that my silver yarn is at the barn for braiding purposes. Oops. I guess I will have to go to AC Moore again. That's no big loss to me!!

Okay, so now I feel conflicted. It was something that happened this evening that made it so. I ended up getting a call from Matt Mercer because he was wondering what time I was going to be heading to Shelton to get together with everyone. I am exhausted and my back has been acting up since the beginning of the week, and I just didn't feel like driving all that way. So I told him as such and we got to talking and of course we got on the subject of Kyle. Now I haven't seen or talked to Kyle in a long time now and I am going back and forth whether to text him randomly and say hi. The thing I am worried about is coming off like I am desperate to get back with him. I don't want to seem like that. Sure, I would really love to get back with him. But that ship has sailed and we were not meant to be together. I still like him and I feel like if I talked to him a bunch then I am going to try and work things out that can't be worked out. Grumble. I think I won't text him. But maybe I should. No. I am going to wait this feeling of semi desperation for attention from a male figure. I hate being sexually frustrated...

~Dragon Eyes~

I Could Just Fall Asleep Here

I had my very first massage today at school. You want to know what was even better? It was free. I love being a student. The massage therapy people were looking for people to get massages so their students could get hours that they so desperately need. And since my very first massage is free I decided to go for it. It was probably the best hour I have ever had. I just got to lie there and Bethany did all the work. It was phenomenal. Since it was my first massage they did a full body. I never knew feet being massaged could be so awesome. She also worked on my back a bit. She touched it and immediately knew what I was talking about. Apparently she found a hard spot that wasn't a knot and the best she could figure that it was scar tissue. And she thought it might have been my rhomboid and another muscle I can't remember. She worked on it for a bit and then let it be since she didn't want to really aggravate anything and the area had gotten really hot. The hour ended and I was sad. But it was okay. I have another massage for next week with Bethany again. Even though it's ten dollars, how can you beat that? For an hour massage? You can't. I can't wait for next week now!

I also got on my horse today for a little bit. The vet called me and is going to come look at him again the Friday after Thanksgiving. He still wanted me to get on and ride him around and get him moving. He struggled today but seemed happier that he was able to do something more productive. I just hope we can finally figure out what is going on with him so I can whip his fat butt back into shape. Yup. He's now the size of a bear along with the fuzz. I still love the stuffing out of him though!

~Dragon Eyes~

You Can Do It!

Overall today was a pretty good day. I really enjoy good days because it makes me feel like I can accomplish anything. School went by pretty fast and I was able to show people that just because I am a girl, pretty and blond, doesn't mean I don't know what I am doing. I ended up partnered up with one of the new guys at the end of class and we were showing each other different exercises that we do. Well this kid is kind of into all that weight lifting and wrestling type stuff. He likes dumb bells and that's about it. You should have seen the look on his face when I pulled out the stability ball and explained and demonstrated how to do a double leg curl and a single leg curl. In less than thirty seconds I completely ripped him out of his comfort zone. Oops. Oh well! He was a good sport about it all even though I had to keep reminding him that I am a lot tougher than I look.

Apparently one of the other new girls thinks she knows everything and is doing things wrong. Chino was trying to be nice but he really wanted to show her that she really needed to learn more. He told me I get to be with her next and try and shape her up a bit. Oh boy. I guess this is what Chino means when he says that I am really good at what I do. Cool beans.

I even public spoke today in front of my peers about what services I am going to be selling in my business class. They liked my energy. I was quite proud of myself. I still get nervous in front of people though. I guess because they are my classmates and not students and the business teacher Joe is quite an intimidating (and handsome) individual.

My riding lesson on Beau even went well today. Gail put up jumps and I jumped a course and stuff to prepare for the show on Sunday. She told me I would be fine. When I told her that I was afraid of showing on Sunday because I didn't think it would go well and that I was afraid to disappoint myself and her, she looked at me and told me that I could never disappoint her. It was seriously one of the most amazing comments someone has ever told me. She told me I have come such a long way and I am doing a great job on a horse I don't usually ride. I just hope we can repeat this on Sunday and maybe win the big prize in the Lazy D Classic! Now that CJ is gone I should have a better shot at it. And in talking with Kit Kat, she hated her as well. And for many of the same reasons. I love my friends.

~Dragon Eyes~

Do You Remember When...?

Do you remember when? This is what Jake and I talked about during the slow times at work today which was pretty much all day. Today was the last day of work for Jake and we decided to reminisce about all of the fun and funny times that we all had together. It was funny to think back on everything, but it was also sad. Yet again another chapter in life is closing. But a new one is opening as we speak. Tomorrow is the start of my third semester at Branford Hall and the meeting of new people. Who knows where life will take me with these new people but that is the adventure and one I am excited to take.

Note to self: Don't go into Walmart unless absolutely necessary, and if I have to, bring someone who will talk me about of buying more yarn. I swear its an addiction. My mom believes that one day we will open the door to my room and yarn is just going to tumble out at us. I have a feeling this might come to pass.

~Dragon Eyes~

Equine Affaire

So I am really beat and this is uber short since I have been bad with updating and feel like I should.

Equine Affaire was today and as always it was very cool with lots of things to see and lots to buy. I talked with vendors about my horse and ran into tons of people from the barn so that was all good.

Thursday was amazing with going up to Eastern and seeing people. Got chinese food and hung out. Watched Harry Potter and got pancakes. I ended up running into Alex and ended up taking him home when I headed home. We blasted music and I sang at the top of my lungs.

And that has been about it.

~Dragon Eyes~

Take the Prius!!!

My mom got her rental car today since her car is being repaired after she fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a reflector pole. She was going back and forth over the rental car. Corolla or Prius? Take the Prius! And that's what she did. I wouldn't mind driving around a 2011 Toyota Prius. It's a sick car. By the time she got home with it, she was wondering if she had to get her other car back at all. I'm excited because I can drive it. I am so going for a spin around the neighborhood with it. Why not?

By the way. AC Moores is a very dangerous store for me to be in. I always find something to buy. It's really bad. But I love it so much. Especially HOT pink yarn!

~Dragon Eyes~

Boo Boo Horses Club

My horse, who was doing so well, has now rejoined the Boo Boo Horses Club along with half the barn it seems like. It is pretty bad. Grady, Hickory, Ice, Star, and Jessie. Dude has been in and out of the club for a while now as well and Beau has even been there as well. Oh well. At least I am not alone. There is a whole group of us dealing with it so it's okay.

My lesson on Beau was really good and I am happy that I decided to do a private lesson.

Well, seeing as I am as motivated as a rock I think I am going to quit while I am ahead.

~Dragon Eyes~

People are Just Plain Crazy

So I have officially decided that people are just plain crazy. I like to believe that all people are great and good but that gets challenged everyday. Especially today. I needed to state this while it is still fresh in my mind rotfl here I am blogging during break in class. I really do hate people who have a complex. Especially a god complex. They think they are better than everyone else. I don't like to show off. That's just not me. I hate attention being thrust upon me or being put on the spot.

Now this girl in my class didn't seem to care end was totally immature and annoying. I have never really liked this girl because some of the comments I hear her whisper and grumble are angry and inappropriate. Today though topped all. We had a test today. We knew about it for like a week and this girl comes in after being absent one detail and throws a fit when she was expected to take it. When the teacher stated that it was fair to everyone else that she should get and extra day she flipped out and said the most selfish thing I have ever heard anyone say.

"i'm not like everyone else."

Seriously what gives you the right to think you are better than the rest of us who actually come to class and work hard and drive in the rain like NORMAL people. Get off your high horse because no one feels sorry for you or you tears.

~Dragon Eyes~

Exercise + Pie and Brownie = Epic Fail

I am a terrible person. I worked out at school, decided to skip going to the gym since my knees were bothering me and then came home and gave in and ate a brownie and a piece of apple pie. That is failing hardcore. At least I rode my sister's horse for over an hour today. Crazy psychotic beast. My horse wasn't feeling great due to the weather so I am hoping tomorrow he will be better and work out of his lameness.

I am thinking of trying to get to zumba on Mondays and Wednesdays at the YMCA and work on taking a spinning class once a week or something and using some work out videos during the week if I can't make it to the gym. I have quite a few I can cycle through and I am thinking about getting a video series called PX90. I will have to see where everything takes me. I am determined to lose the last bit of weight that's on me and tone myself up and look sexy and stunning. Though, I do think my arms look pretty amazing. Same with my legs.

~Dragon Eyes~

I Have Been Priced at $3.50

So using a price gun is probably one of the best things ever. Especially when you can run around and price each other as well as the goods. It should also be noted that I should be given a price gun to play with because I will probably price everything in sight, including my co workers. This is also what happens when work is really slow.

Tomorrow starts the final week of my second semester at Branford Hall. And then it's on to two new classes and I can't wait! Yes, only I would enjoy learning so much.

I am also all messed up since the time change. My phone apparently was messed up too because it pushed back two hours instead of one and made me late for work. It was seriously really strange. And I argued with my mom about it when she was telling me that it was 9:15 instead of 8:15. All in all being late for work by ten minutes wasn't that bad.

~Dragon Eyes~

Stuff that Cupcake in My Face

Tonight my little sister turned 20 and we celebrated by going out to dinner at Smokin' with Chris right in town. They have amazing food and there was an Irish folk singer who sang all these awesome Irish songs and we got all rowdy with the drunk group of enthusiastic people next to us. It was a lot of fun. I really do love happy drunk people.

And just now Ali was pulling the futons out of the attic so she has a place to sleep in my room tonight and when she threw it out of the attic, it got caught on the way down and was hanging from the attic opening in the ceiling. What are the chances?? I never laughed so hard.

~Dragon Eyes~

Come My Dead Puppy

Well, all my relatives are here and so far things are going good. I am not being driven too insane at the moment but I am sure there will be moments. All I know it was strange waking up this morning and having two dogs stare at me while my puppy wiggled his tail from his kennel as always. My relatives apparently arrived after 2am. I was already asleep after going out with Alex in West Hartford for a while. I love it when just the two of us go out. It's just such a chill thing. He was cute and messaged me when I got home to see if I made it. He is such a sweetie.

Today school went well and we did a lot of functional training in program design. We were put in groups of two and we each trained each other for 50 mins. Jason trained me first and killed me. So I got even and destroyed him. He was a good sport about it. We have a history of being tough on each other but it really does help us work out and try new things. My classmates all think I have lost weight and that I am really developing the hour glass frame. And in looking in the mirror I can see it too. And I like it!

I ended up going out to a late lunch/early dinner with my family and then we all went over my grandma's house to look at furniture and odds and ends. We are claiming quite a bit and I feel good knowing that some of my grandma's things will continue one. It was mos def hard going into that house and walking around and it's not just because it feels empty. It smells like her. And scent is the strongest memory enhancer there is. I really do miss her.

Tomorrow is my sister's 20th birthday. She is in store for lots of stuff.

~Dragon Eyes~

Failing is So Easy

Why is failing so easy? Seriously? Everyone tells you success is hard, but worth it in the end. They don't always tell you that failing is so easy and so tantalizing. I hate failing. It makes me feel, well, like a failure. And I hate it. I just feel like my goal gets farther and father away and that I am slowly slipping down the mountain.

Today was the third not great lesson I have had in a row and it seems that every one of them gets worse and worse. I try so hard and yet I have nothing to show for it. My position is failing and my jumping is pretty much gone. I started with a vertical today and saw it revert back to a cross rail. It was so hard to continue and make it through when all I wanted to do was get off and stop. I am amazed that I managed to keep myself from crying until I was driving home. I hate having to show people my frustration in my failures.

By now I should be able to go out there and jump a course of 2'6 and 2'9 jumps with no problem and yet I can't. I can't even get over a single fence anymore at that height. I watch the people around me who ride and jump and do it with ease and yet I can't. After all these years of lessons I have nothing to show for it anymore.

~Dragon Eyes~

Creepers Come Hither

It's official. I must have a sign on my forehead that says, "creepers come hither" because this is seriously starting to get old. Can I find a nice boy who is sweet and kind? No. Hot? No. Even remotely good looking? Nope. I can't win. Once again, I find myself with another creeper who thinks I'm cute and wants to get to know me. How did this happen? I have asked myself this question for a long long long long long long times infinity time. Now, let me lay out the story for you. I have never met this kid before. He is apparently friends with some of the guys my ex and I are friends with. He has randomly asked for my friend request before and I accepted him once then defriended him when he got creepy and then denied it a few times. Now I have no idea what I was thinking, but I accepted his friend request this time. I think I must have been on drugs.

He has sent me Facebook chat messages before but I have always been away and never managed to respond which is peachy with me. Tonight he caught me. Within the first two minutes he told me I was cute, that he was an honest guy and if I was single and that he was hoping I was. And then proceeded to give me his number. And guess what. I didn't give him mine. This is a first for me. And he didn't ask for it. So life is good in that respect. Still. This sucks.

I want to meet new people and see if I can find any nice, sweet, single guys that are looking for a nice, sweet girl. Apparently this is not meant to happen with me. Besides, when have I met a cute, sweet, single guy? Hmm, let's see. Mike and Kyle. Great... I am doing so well right here...

FML.

~Dragon Eyes~