I Tested the Waters and They Seem Warm

Tonight I am going to hang out with Kris. I am really excited about it since I am kind of interested in him and want to get to know him better, so when he asked if I wanted to hang out with him tonight, I jumped at the chance. I am also nervous, but that comes with the territory or dating and such. We are going to play some Call of Duty and watch a movie and just hang. So it's low key and no strings attached. I'm ready to test out the waters of dating again. They haven't been this warm in a long time, so it makes me happy to try something different.

Wish me luck!

~Dragon Eyes~

My Horse is Shedding. SPRING IS COMING!!!!

It is always a good sign when the horses start to shed out their winter coats. That means that spring is on it's way! Okay, that did backfire once. There was entire winter where it was 50 degrees everyday through November, December, and half of January. And my horse shed out his entire winter coat. And then the temperature plummeted. He froze his little buttcheeks off and I kind of felt bad. This time I'm thinking it's legit. But I could be wrong, seeing as the temperature is supposed to drop once again and it's supposed to be snowing on Wednesday. We really don't need anymore snow. It's getting kind of ridiculous.

I am currently bored stiff. I am not tired and I don't really have anything to do. Oh well, I guess that's just how I roll all the time. I might go read. Or something.

I also talked to Kris a little bit tonight and I think I might be his Call of Duty partner tomorrow. That would be cool because I would be hanging with him and such. I am a terrible video game person though and I told him I would probably be target practice. I'm like a rabbit in that game. Most rabbits are pretty fast and agile. Not this rabbit!

~Dragon Eyes~

Al I Smell is Garlic!!!

I think I am really starting to get into my free writes a little more that I thought I would. It's kind of fun to experiment with ideas and concepts I have never thought to try or have been too afraid to try. I am going to have to keep up with it. If it keeps me happy since my big stories are missing, it is better than nothing.

The weather man lied again. We got fifteen inches of snow here last night. They weren't calling for more than ten. Seriously?? I am really done with all this snow. I ended up getting a ride to school from Dad and then bummed a ride home from Jared and Fabio. All I know is that Fabio is one funny guy! Good thing I have one more semester with him before he goes on Externship!!! All I know is that I am glad this semester is ended. I am going crazy with these classes.

Now I am off to bed and hoping to get the smell of garlic out of my hands!!!

~Dragon Eyes~

Visibilty is Zero Outside! Time to Leave School!

Finally, after waiting all day, the snow is coming down like a freak outside. It started snowing at around 10am this morning for some unknown reason. It wasn't supposed to start until around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. My classmate Eric looks out the window when we were doing functional training and goes, "Visibility is zero outside! I think we need an early dismissal!" After that the rest of us were all wound up and the circuit training that Carrie Ann was making us do just went insane. We were laughing, calling each other out on laziness and just picking fun at each other. Carrie Ann called us a bunch of crazy brothers and sisters.

The snow then ended up stopping for a bit. And when it came time to leave school it started up again. It was snowing hard when I go home and Jim Bob stated that it was snowing hard where they were and that they would look in on my horses. And then the snow stopped. Until almost 10pm. I could have gone to the barn as well as gone climbing with Molly and have dinner with all of them. ERG. Oh well.

I did get some creative writing done. I have been doing mostly free writes since all of my other stories are locked away on the broken flash drive. I have no motivation to do anything with any of those stories at the minute anyways. For now, doing free writes is loads of fun because the prompts and exercises I have really get me to try new things and stretch my imagination a little bit. Or a lot. I did two of them and really kind of like them. One was about a first person point of view but I could only use I, Me, or My twice in the whole 600 words. That was a lot of fun to do and then an entire 500 words on imperatives or commands. That was hard! I was running out of things to say after a while!

Now I think I am going to roll into bed and go to sleep. We supposedly have a 90 minute delay tomorrow but I will get up a little early to see if that is true.

~Dragon Eyes~

Jewelry is Too Dangerous

Oh, one more thing of note. I ended up randomly talking to Dona the jewelry lady this afternoon. She is a Mary Kay consultant as well and my mom has been getting her make-up through her. Well she called this afternoon because my mom want to buy some stuff and I ended up answering the cell phone. It was nice talking to her and for once she didn't talk my ear off. She is sending me the jewelry catalogs and stated that I could call her and order jewelry whenever I wanted. It's awesome because I got a coupon for Christmas and I still have my Hostess Gold Card. YAY!

~Dragon Eyes~

You Could Cut The Tension With a Machette

I cannot wait for this semester to be over with. It has been long and full of emotions and such. Joe has been driving us nuts and the career development instructor is just plain annoying. She really hates us and I believe she LOVES to hear herself talk. It really is a pain.

Yesterday Fabio and Joe got into an argument that was taken out into the hall because Joe was going on and on about how we need to know what the three macronutrients were and since no one was talking he kept on driving it deeper and deeper until Fabio told him we know it and he should lay off a bit. Well that didn't go well and Joe got defensive and it spiraled. When Tom walked in the room he couldn't believe how thick the tension was. The rest of the class happened in silence.

Today that class was okay, but the other career development class was not. We were talking about interview questions and stuff and it was just long and boring and the teacher pretty much talked the entire time. I tuned her out after five minutes, it was that bothersome. She just likes to hear her own voice. I don't know why. I find it annoying. By the end of that class we were done. And going home was a god send. For a short while.

Also yesterday I ended up going out and getting a few drinks with Alex after letting Fabio vent on the phone for about twenty minutes. It was nice to go out with him. We haven't done that in forever so it was good to just sit and catch up. We chatted about all kinds of things including Jeanette, which apparently drove him up a wall last week. Believe me, I can understand. She was driving me to distraction on Saturday when I went out with her and Reeni. She was just everywhere. After one glass of wine she is very lucid. After half a bottle, plus some she is VERY lucid and gets to the annoying phase. Ever since she turned 21 she has been like this. I don't know why. She goes out of her way to insult people and drive them insane. I don't understand the joy in that. With Reeni I can have a good heartfelt conversation, but with Jeanette she just shies away from it and goes on about drinking and how this is annoying and that is annoying. It gets really old after a while. I can see why Alex is practically done with it all. Why should he have to put up with her and her insults to his friends. That's not cool. I just don't know what to do. I really don't. It's probably why I can't hang out with her all the time. It's just too much for me. I have gotten to the point in my life where I am mature and trying to be mature and drinking excessively just makes me feel terrible. I'm not that young wild college kid that could drink a lot and be okay. I know what it does to your body and it isn't good.

The other thing that really bothered me was that Jeanette was determined to go to IHOP at 130am. As a PFT I know this is a giant RED FLAG OF DOOM. IHOP is not healthy no matter what anyone's justification is. It is terrible for you. And at 1am, what the hell is your body going to do with all those carbs? Store them as fat. I know this. And I also know how all this rich food makes me ill. I ate it under penalty of death. And felt ill afterward and sluggish the next day. I hated how Jeanette just didn't give a shit about anything I was trying to tell her about why I shouldn't be eating this stuff, but of course my opinions are null and void when she is drunk, so I suffered. I guess that's what happens. I really hate being cowed by her, but I would rather not rock the boat. Or flip it over for that matter. It just makes me work that much harder for everything that I want in life. Because I am going to get it first and be successful and that is that.

Three more days and one GIANT snowstorm stands between me and the end of the semester. It doesn't help that I am going to have Miss P and Joe next semester. Mentor and Mentee. Just great... Can I jump out the window now?? Let's just hope there is no snow tomorrow morning. Getting a surprise three inches this morning was not pleasant for driving to say the least. And with no more snow days this semester it has become do or die. Yay (sarcasm).

~Dragon Eyes~

Pickle Sizzle

Alright. I am officially done with all the snow. No more is needed. The snow banks are taller than my car which means I can't see around them, and driving in the snow that seems to fall every other day is starting to get annoying. Real annoying. Today we had school, snow or no snow and believe me it snowed. I have driven in the snow a fair few times, but I am not good at it by any stretch of the imagination. Today was extra special. The snow was really light and fluffy and it made sticking to the road near impossible. I had problems making it up small inclines as well as moving forward after coming to a stop. The wheels just keep going round and round. Oh well. I managed to make it in one piece.

School was all sorts of messed up with an hour delay. The first three hours were learning new stuff, reviewing and functional training and the last three hours, since Joe wasn't here, we combined with the other PFTs and worked together. It was a blast. There were times that I could barely breathe because I was laughing so hard. Fabio is one funny guy, that's for damn sure. And I actually got Logun to be semi chatty with me and such. I can't help myself. He has a great body.

All I know is I am tired and so glad that I don't have any school tomorrow. I need some much needed sleep. That would just be phenomenal for me right now.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go out with Reeni and Jeanette. I haven't seen either of them since Halloween, so I am excited. I just have to keep myself in check and not go wild with beer. I can't afford it and it's not great for my weight loss goals and such right now. Thanks to Stan at Gold's Gym, I know have a set workout plan and diet plan. We will see how well this goes.

~Dragon Eyes~

Insurance With a Side of Dick

Tonight I ended up going out to dinner with Molly, her boyfriend Brenden, Brian and Kris. That was a lot of fun. I enjoy hanging out with Molly and being part of her crazy life. It makes everything that much better to me. And I love hanging out with the guys. The stories that I get from all of them are hysterical! Insurance with a side of dick was only one of them. Then there was the couple having sex outside of a bar and Molly witnessed it. Oh, it just goes on and on. And I believe I am going to go climbing next week. It was so much fun the first time I went and I can't wait to do it again. It also means I might see Kris again. Yup. I am so super girly at times.

After coming back from dinner I jumped on the treadmill and did some ab work. Seriously, not matter what I do exercise wise it is not enough. It's not good enough and I feel I am getting nothing out of it. I don't understand where that mentality comes from. Molly tells me all the time I have a great body and should be proud of it, but I'm not. It's just not good enough to me. Arg. WHY WHY WHY WHY???????

~Dragon Eyes~

At Least it's Fuzzy and Not a Couch Cushion

SNOW DAY!! Well, more like an ice day but that's okay with me. I got to sleep in and do pretty much nothing today which was glorious to me. I got to knit and watch The Biggest Loser, and get some much needed exercise in. All in all perfect. I really don't feel like going back to school tomorrow. But I kind of need to get out and do something and see my amazing classmates. Besides, half of them or going to be going on externship at the end of the semester and I am seriously going to miss them a lot. So the more time the better. I just can't wait for this semester to end. Diet and Nutrition is going to be the death of me yet with the whole food journal thing. YUCK!

I seriously think I am having a gluten sensitivity again. I did it when I was really depressed and stressed out with student teaching, but I have no idea why it would be doing this again. I will have to keep and eye on it and see if I can try and stay away from high gluten things.

Now for the just in. I received a facebook message tonight from my cuddle buddy Kris. That was a surprise but a happy surprise for me. I was happy to chat and feel interesting to someone other than a complete and utter creeper. Score for me! I will just have to see where all of this takes me.

~Dragon Eyes~

Spooning Overload and the Gift of Support

Well, I haven't blogged in a long while now and it is kind of sad. I just haven't been motivated. And it also doesn't help when I don't turn my computer on for a few days. Oh well, I have come back now.

I had a glorious time for Molly's birthday. We ended up going out to eat at Miya's in New Haven and I had the BEST sushi ever. It was amazing. Cucumber rolls, avocado rolls and spicy talapia rolls and I was a very full and very happy person. When it is all followed up with fried vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips. Yup. I died a very happy person. After that is was back to Molly's house for cake and alcohol and a smashing good time. There was a lot of silly drunkeness and nakedness, but it was all amazing. I ended up sleeping over and had a cuddle buddy for the night, which ended up into two cuddle buddies when Meagan got cold and squished me between her and Kris. It was rather uncomfortable, but I was loved. In the morning we had breakfast with the few of us still left and that was a good time. Though, I have decided I am not a fan of Molly's friend Kate. There is just something about her that rubs me the wrong way. She's just very loud and obnoxious and loves to hear her own voice. Not to mention I just don't think she likes me. That's my take on it all. It's probably not true, but that's just how it comes off to me.

It's supposed to snow again tonight and into tomorrow, but the snow is going to be turning into sleet and freezing rain and who knows what else. It's supposed to start for the morning commute, so it will be interesting to see what happens with everything. I might have school and I might not have school. I am hoping we have either a delay or an early dismissal, that way I don't have to make it up. We well just have to find out.

Tomorrow is also back to my major exercise attack. I have slacked off and have eaten more than I should have so tomorrow is back to detox and all that stuff. I probably should kick gluten out of my diet, but we will have to work on it when I eventually get my own place.

I have also successfully made a placemat and a coaster. Both came out really well and I am really glad for that. I just have to keep working on it and perfecting it and then everything will come together and I will have all kinds of things for a future apartment.

I found the most amazing store ever!! I went to the West Farms mall in West Hartford and in the mall I found a NIKE RUNNING store. I died and went to heaven 47348954203 times over. It was just for me. All about the Nike + system that I have. They had more shoes and clothes and accessories than I knew what to do with. I ended up getting four dri-fit shirts for like 70 bucks. Thank you, Aunt Carol and Uncle John for giving me 100 bucks for christmas. I spent it on valuable clothing for myself!

Back to David Letterman before bed. I do love when Jack Hannah is on with wild animals. Especially since there's one in David's shirt.

~Dragon Eyes~

Wanted: Buff, Softie of a Man

After watching and finally finishing the tenth season of the Biggest Loser, I have decided that all of the men on the show were big huge teddy bear softies. And I need one! Those are the best types of men! They aren't afraid to cry and they will just love me for all it's worth. Is that so much to ask for? Ali thinks I should find an obese man, train him to be buff and skinny and then make him mine. But that would be crossing the giant neon green line of professionalism. But then again, maybe I will end up meeting a buff guy already who is a big softie. Either way, I shall find me one at some point in my life!!

~Dragon Eyes~

Your Cover Letter has "RAWR" in it. Just Saying.

Cover letters are a pain in the tookus. No matter how hard I try I think it just sounds super awkward. Maybe it's just me. My teacher seems to think that it's fine. I guess this is my perfectionist nature coming out or something. I really got to let that go! There was one point I just got plain pissed off and typed "RAWR" right in the middle of everything. Chino looks over and laughs at me. The about ten seconds later that everyone wouldn't know what to do without me. I think I grinned from ear to ear for a bit, until the cover letter grabbed my by the throat and jerked me around the room. Oh well.

I lost one pound since my weigh in last week. I almost cried with joy! My body just likes to redistribute weight, so it always stays the same. To see that I lost a pound just made my entire day. So did talking to Logan more than I have since the start of the semester. He shaved off his mohawk and I almost didn't recognize him. But I like having some attention by a buff good-looking guy!

IT'S FINALLY SNOWING!!! I really hope we have no school tomorrow. If it snows the 12 to 20 inches they are calling for it will be. Even though there will be class on Friday, I won't mind it so much. I could use more sleep and a relax day. Maybe I'll take my camera out in the snow tomorrow and get some shots for the blog!

~Dragon Eyes~

Breathing is Overwhelming

I have gotten quite a few comments about me looking like I have lost weight. Let me tell you it makes me so happy that all of my hard work is paying off! Bathing suit season here I come!! I still have a lot of work to do, but I know I can do it if I have come this far. Just one step at a time.

It looks as if we are going to get another foot of snow or more this Tuesday night and into Wednesday. I am really hoping for no school, even if that means we have to come in a Friday. I love me some snow days and to curl up with my knitting and my blankets and television just sounds amazing to me. So does sleeping in.

We ended up talking about water in diet and nutrition class today. As soon as Joe stated that was what we were going to be discussing, Logan looks at me from across the classroom and grins. Yup. I am not so good with my water intake and everyone, including him knows it. He really does have a great smile. I am a sucker for smiles. If a guy has a really good smile, then I am sold. Yup. I am hopeless.

Well off the bed. And one final note.

"We are the Borg. Lower your shields so you can be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

~Dragon Eyes~

Girl on Girl Smack Down

I finally watched the first episode of the new season of Jersey Shore and I am so happy. This season is going to probably be the best season yet for the drama and smack downs between people. The reason I love this show so much is because I know that no matter what happens, my life can never be as messed up and drama filled as these people. It's just awesome to watch the drama unfold and everything.

Pauly D, Vinny, Mike, Snooki and Jwoww: My favorite people on the show. They are goofy and funny and know how to make light of pretty much anything.

Deena: This is the new girl and Snooki's friend. She is kind of annoying, but in a strange almost lovable way.

Ronnie and Sam: Now these two are the icing on the cake and I really am disliking them. Especially Sam. This girl just rubs my the wrong way big time. She is such a little whore and a bitch and I seriously wonder how she has any friends and why Ronnie sticks around with her. I just really want to punch her in the face.

And that's the Jersey Shore situation. I cannot wait to see the next episode!!

My room looks a lot cleaner than it did before. I still have a lot of work to do on it, but I am currently very happy with what it looks like and will try and keep it that way. That is probably going to be harder than I think, but I am going to give it a shot and a half.

~Dragon Eyes~

Mini Golf Fail

Today I spent the day at Jocelyn's house for her graduation party. It was all sorts of fun with all of her family, some of Christian's family as well as Amber and Brian. It was a grand time with food and friends and video games and all sorts of conversation. It is always fun to be with Jocelyn. She also showed me and Amber all kinds of stuff she is collecting for an apartment she wants to get within the next six months or so. She's made all sorts of cool things like hot pads and placemats and blankets and such. Makes me want to get my own apartment to call home and such. But that is not going to happen for a while. At least until September or the beginning of 2012. Eh, until then I'll work on apartment type stuff.

~Dragon Eyes~

This Mattress is Evil!!

Dewey on Malcolm in the Middle seriously has the best things to say sometimes. The episode I watched this afternoon was particularly hysterical. A random mattress fell out of the sky and Malcolm and Dewey took it home. Eventually all they were doing was sleeping nonstop and Dewey stated it was evil and they needed to get rid of it. Priceless.

The show Say Yes to the Dress is the most addicting show on the face of the planet. I have no idea why that is but I am just a huge sucker for beautiful dresses and weddings. Not that I am ever going to get married, but that's okay because me and Ali are going to buy wedding dresses just because!

I ended up not going to NYC and it was probably a good thing we didn't. We got about 6 inches plus of snow here today and it's still snowing. While I love the snow, driving in it is pretty bad. I did go to my riding lesson early and got to jump my horse for the first time in almost four months. He was phenomenal. I was just so happy how everything turned out.

Not so happy about the whole Kyle thing. He and Jocelyn talked yesterday and he told her to tell me hi and that I could text him anytime. Uh, Hello??? Are you kidding me??? Get the balls and talk to me yourself if you want to hear from me. Right now I am WAY past wanting to deal with him and all of his bullshit. So yeah. He can just suck it right now, because there is no way I want to talk to him. I will have to get further details from Jocelyn tomorrow when I see her for her graduation party.

~Dragon Eyes~

The Black Swan

I finally got to see the movie tonight and oh my god was it incredible! Natalie Portman was phenomenal and if she doesn't win an academy award from her role then the world will simply have to just come to an end. She was just such a tortured soul throughout the movie and it is incredible what stress can do to someone's brain and body. While ballerina's are so fluid and beautiful, they lead such tortured lives it's incredible. It seriously creeped me out big time but it was still an amazing movie.

It is going to snow tomorrow. I like the snow, but not when I have to travel places in it. I am also supposed to be going to NYC tomorrow. That isn't going to happen. I just read the latest forecasts and it is not looking good. They are talking about this heavy band of snow, that's only about 50 miles wide and guess where it is going to plant itself Friday morning and into the evening. That's right. NYC. And that clinched it. I am not going. The city basically came to a grinding halt from the last storm on Christmas weekend and still has not fully recovered from the ordeal. There is no way I am going into that city when it is snowing. I do not need to get stuck there. Hell no. Brian is still dead set on going and wants us to wait until morning to call it off. I've seen enough to know there is no way I am going. They can go if they want, but I cannot chance that. I really can't. My life is more important at this point in time. Now I have to wake up mad early to send a text to Brian to say we aren't going. I am almost tempted to sleep and not bother calling. I am just so tired that if I don't get sleep I am going to drop over. I have to travel the farthest out of everyone and I just can't risk that. Everyone I have talked to, and I mean EVERYONE, says I am crazy to even attempt it. I know it. And I know I am not. I don't have the urge, or the cash flow to spend money to go to the city right now.

And all of this stresses me out. I just need to go to the gym, ride my horse and do nothing tomorrow.

~Dragon Eyes~

A Sale? This is Dangerous...

Jewelry is dangerous for a girl. If there is a sale, it's dangerous for a girl as well. When there is a sale on jewelry, it is positively the most dangerous thing in the entire world. And tonight I encountered both. Yikes! Both Jocelyn and I had the same thought. And when I told myself I was only going to buy one piece of jewelry I left buying three and winning a fourth. Yup. So much for saving some money. It was loads of fun though and it was awesome to spend some time with Jocelyn and Amber. I haven't seen either of them for the longest time and it was awesome to spend some quality girl time.

Now I haven't seen Jocelyn in who knows how long and it was awesome to catch up with her about everything. We chatted about everything. Holidays and holiday ordeals, crazy problems and situations in life and everything else in between. And of course the situation with Kyle ended up coming up, and that was very eye-opening to me. While me and Kyle dated and such a while before we went out with each other. That was not the case with Carly. Basically, what I found out tonight was that on Kyle's birthday, he got drunker than normal and ended up telling everyone to leave because he wanted to have sex with her. And that was how the relationship started. Yeah. Messed up big time. And apparently for Christmas, after dating only 2 weeks, Carly got Kyle a very expensive and brand new Zune MP3 player. Yeah. Only two weeks. What the hell? Seriously? Everyone agrees that they will not last long and Jocelyn believes that Kyle will suddenly wake up and realize that he completely f-ed up and might come crawling back to me. I don't know how I feel about this. Sure I would love to still be with him, but there would be a lot of talking and rule setting before I could manage to trust him again. And right now I am no where near ready to forgive. No way.

Jocelyn and her boyfriend are going to Buffalo Wild Wings with everyone and it sounds like she is going to have a slight talking to with Kyle. I wonder how that is going to go. All I know is that I am glad that he will not be at Jocelyn's graduation party on Saturday. I just really don't need that at this point in time. I might go out with everyone at some point since Jocelyn and Christian will both be there and I won't be alone. But we will have to see.

Well I am going back to to watching television for a bit to digest food before going to bed.

~Dragon Eyes~

What Happened to Your Coat? I Drooled...

It is so good to be home! I love sleeping in my own bed and being in my own house and having my own room. There is seriously nothing better than that. I really wish I could have gotten more sleep but that's what I am going to be doing tonight. Today was a long day, but I somehow survived. I did a lot of exercising so I think that might have helped keep me going. I am mos def going to be exercising a lot. I need to lose weight and tone up and actually look the part of a trainer, though I could probably break most people who meet me in half. Oh well. I feel I need to do it.

Tomorrow we are going to be doing some higher intensity stuff in class for exercising and then I think I am going to go to Gold's for a bit and work out even more. I am going to get into shape and I have so many tools to do it and people to help me. I just hope it all pays off in the end. That would make me the happiest person in life. My mom thinks I am going to burn myself out, but I don't think I could. I have been with the exercise scene for so long that I don't think I could.

Apparently Brian is thinking of changing to nights after this semester and I am going to be taking over the training of the women that he has been working with. They know me because I have been training with them. It will be fun to take over and really get my feet wet. Today it was just me and Gina who worked out with Brian. Gina is awesome and for some reason we got into the subject of me and relationships since that's what Brian and I had been discussing. She had some great advice and it was awesome to hear from someone else who thought it would never happen to her. It was really enlightening.

Tonight I got to ride my horse for the first time in almost a week. Was he crazy or what?? Oh my goodness! He ended up galloping around the ring with me a few times. I just couldn't get him to do anything else. Hopefully we can manage better tomorrow!!

Now on to some yoga and such before I turn in for the night.

~Dragon Eyes~

Nerf Gun Wars

What better way to spend New Years day than beating up my cousins with my nerf guns. Yup. It was pretty badass to shoot guns and duck around corners and hope I don't get hit in the head. Though that did happen more than once. I was kind of like target practice. My gun only fires off about 6 or 7 rounds while my cousins had a huge gun with a large 30 round clip that was automatic. That was kind of hard to compete with, but I managed well.

All I know is that while I like being away from my home and Connecticut, I really need to go home and get away from all the food. Seriously, I have never seen so much food in my life, and believe me it is nothing but fattening food. Tomorrow I am going to be running and walking and working out hardcore for a long time. And then I shall persuade my mom to take me to the bookstore again and maybe Joann Fabrics. I could always use more books and yarn and knitting needles.

Well, I am going to collapse now for a while and slip into a food coma. Or attempt to. And then come tomorrow is when the real work begins! I am going to get into shape no matter how hard it takes.

~Dragon Eyes~

Happy New Year!

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011!!

I can't believe that it's a new year! It seems like yesterday was the start of 2010. Looking back at everything that has happened, I am extremely glad to say goodbye to 2010. It was not a good year. It really wasn't. There are so many memories that I look back on and wish I had never had to have them. Even though they were not the greatest memories ever, they changed and shaped the person that I am today. So I guess I can't wish them all away, but I do wish many of them gone. Let's recap a bit about 2010.

Student teaching for my last semester of college and all of the hell and stress and depression that went along with it. While it was a defining moment of my life, it is one I wish I have never experienced. I was just doing something I didn't want to do.

Fighting with my back injury. That was the worst injury I have ever had. Even though it started in 2009, it still went through quite a bit of 2010. And I still fight with it. It is far better than it ever has been before, but it is still there.

Saying goodbye to my Babci. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. She was such an important person in my life and it was just so hard to have to go through everything.

My Aunt and Uncle bascially disowning themselves from the family. Okay, while that seems like a bad thing, in many ways I am pretty glad they have gone away to Florida. Though they could have been nicer to my parents with my grandmother's house and stuff. Oh well.

Andrew. Yeah, that was not a good moment in my life. For my first boyfriend, it was a pretty stupid thing that I did jumping in the way I did. I think I was drunk for the entire five weeks we were together. That ended badly and we do not speak to this day. Which is fine by me. He was an alcoholic with too many issues to name.

Kyle. Now this one is an interesting one. While he was a great second boyfriend and we had so much fun together, it still ended after a little over two months. While I was glad that the relationship with Andrew ended, I wasn't so okay with this one. It ended suddenly and I wish I could figure out what had happened. I guess there are some things that we just can't explain or change. He can stay with his new plain Jane girlfriend. I'll find someone better.

Mike. Now, while I would rather not put him down here at all, I feel that it is something that needs to be done. He was a huge part of my life. Most of it took place in 2009 and earlier, it all came to an end in 2010. The pain and sadness did not end quickly and much of the end of 2010 was spent trying to pick up the broken pieces and start fresh again without him in my life. I still look back and wish things had been different between the two of us, but I can see now how much better off I am without him. He will always cross my mind and I will always wonder what he is doing and if we will ever talk again, but for now, I am better off without.

There were some good things as well.

Graduating from ECSU.
Competing in my first horse show in over 6 years.
Starting Branford Hall and loving what I do.
Meeting amazing people and spending time with my friends.

I am going into 2011 with a positive outlook. I will make this year a better one than 2010. It will be a good one, filled with good things and hopefully happy and surprising things. Let's see where the world takes me!

~Dragon Eyes~