Flash Your Wee Wee for the Maid

Oh the random tidbits you hear on adult swim while your boyfriend is entertaining you! I heard it and died laughing. He thought I was dying and couldn't figure out what happened. After I told him he told me that I was so silly. Yeah. I am! All in all last night was really good. I had a lot of fun seeing everyone and hanging with Kyle. I'm just happy that I am getting a little braver and such. That is always good for me since I am usually high strung.

Today was a low key day. I didn't have a car so I spent the day at home watching tv, knitting, playing with the dog and tanning by the pool. I can't complain. Seeing as my hands are sore from knitting I am going to chill in my room for a while before working on some writing. I am determined to get the edit done. Even if it kills me.

Tomorrow I get to see Amanda and Brian! I cannot wait!!

~Dragon Eyes~

Shoulder Lean, Shoulder Lean

My roommate freshman year of college used to randomly sing that line, so I am assuming it's some sort of rap song or something. I randomly thought of this today while I was looking at (or stalking) pictures on facebook. My sister and I always stalk and snoop the people that are still at Hillside (our old barn) to see what's going on. Well after looking at pictures today I shudder to think what's going to happen. More for the horses and not the people riding them.

Now when you jump a horse you are supposed to sit nice and straight in the middle of them. This ensures that both you and your horse are balanced properly. If you are balanced properly, jumping for you and the horse is very simple. For example:


These are two pictures of my sister jumping. The bottom is hard to see but the top one is very nice to look at. See how straight she is sitting in the saddle? She has folded nicely and is going with the motion of Beau. That is a very good thing. Now let's take a look at a few more pictures.




Now what is wrong with these pictures? Hmm? Oh yeah. Everyone is LEANING! Now even though my readers aren't all horsey people I would like to pose a question. Does this look safe? Nope. That's what I thought. Leaning like this is a very bad habit and very unsafe. Because when you lean you are throwing your horse's balance off. Now look at these next two pictures. They are blurry but you can still see it.



Ahh! I love head on shots. They speak a thousand words. Now its easier to see it in the second picture than the first but we can see the rider is pulling the horse away from her center of balance and causing her to twist her body. The second picture shows the horse's front and back legs are not squared up. The front legs are being pulled to the right while the back legs are straight or canted to the left a bit. This is very unsafe. And now to the last two pictures I have. These show the consequences of this leaning habit.



And here is the result. The first picture shows the rider leaning to the left. And the second picture shows the landing. She is off balance and so is her horse. She is now up the horse's neck and falling sideways to the left...the same direction she was leaning. Now this is extremely dangerous and is calling for a fall that could possibly take the horse with it. Now these are small jumps. Two foot at most. As the fences get taller and taller, the more leaning, the more accidents and potentially serious injury for both horse and rider.

These girls are being trained improperly and it makes me cringe when they are like we are going to be a good show team and everything. Yeah. Not like this they aren't. It doesn't help that the trainer they are under is pushing fence height rather than riding technique. These kids are jumping four foot plus with all of the horses pictured. And they haven't even been riding or jumping that long. My sister and I have been doing this for a very long time. Longer than any of them. Neither of us have ever jumped four foot before. But that's okay. Gail is working with us on technique and style rather than fence height. We work on fences under three foot. But that's okay, because when the fences do go higher, we have the techniques down cold and know exactly what we are doing and how to adjust. This is how Ali and me did so well at the show. Even though these girls are doing the jumpers instead of the hunters or EQs, it doesn't matter. Technique is the most important.

Note: Jumpers is a jumping division that works on speed and power. They are looking for the fastest times and are judged on the time as such. Hunters is a jumping/flat division that looks at the horse, not the rider. EQ or Equitation is a jumping/flat division that looks at the rider and only the rider (thought having a nice horse under you doesn't hurt!). Ali does the hunters and I do the EQ.

Okay. Sorry for my rant there, but I sort of needed to say my piece and then I'll be done with it.

~Dragon Eyes~

How Do We Distinguish Dream From Reality?

Tonight I saw Inception with Kyle. Oh. My. God. It was by far the most incredible, mind-trippy thing I have ever seen. It was just so cool that it mesmerized the viewer. Half the time I was just too in awe over everything that I was seeing to think about anything else. Even the end of the movie made you sit there and wonder and question everything. It also left me with a deep question.

Is what we are living right now a dream or reality? Or is it someone else's dream. Or maybe it's a dream within a dream within a dream. Who knows.

It was just so cool! You need to see this movie. It just caught you and held you for two and a half hours!!

Now off to do some reading for a little bit before passing out.

~Dragon Eyes~

My Droid Incredible is...Well...Incredible!

I finally got my brand new Droid Incredible phone in the mail today! It was supposed to come either next week or the week after that but it came today! I have never been more excited! I got it activated and got all of my numbers transferred. I set up some ringtones and such and a background. I still have a lot to learn about the phone but it is just so very cool! And I just totally got distracted for about fifteen minutes with my phone. Oh this is going to be spectacular! I have never had such a cool phone before! I have been waiting for this for a while now and was so excited to finally get it in my hands!

Today has just been a good day! I got my phone, went to the gym, got my saddle back from repairs and made a very good dinner! Now I have to work on knitting and/or writing. Seeing as my hand has been bothering me with knitting I might work on writing for a bit. Or maybe do some knitting and then go to writing. All I have tomorrow is a lesson on my horse. I might also be going out with Kyle, though I am not sure about that one. He reminded me that it would be our one month anniversary tomorrow. I think it's really cute that he remembered when I didn't. Such a sweetie!

Now off to do whatever!

~Dragon Eyes~

Why Do Songs Remind Me of You?

"And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you."
~I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat~

Have you ever been sitting listening to music when all of a sudden a song comes on and you freeze because every lyric that is sung reminds you of someone you can't seem to forget? That's what happened tonight with this song. It came up on my itunes and I suddenly missed him all over again. Just when I think I have moved on and am ready to take the next step I suddenly find myself dwelling on him again and wishing things had been different.

I guess we all have moments of weakness. We are only human after all. Still, it was something that I didn't want to think about at the moment. There are days when I wish I had never met him and there are days when I wish that things could have been different between the two of us. I haven't heard from him in a long while and in some ways hope it stays like that and in other ways I wish I could talk to him one more time. I don't know what I would do if he randomly talked to me again, but hopefully I won't have to face that for a while.

Well I guess I am going to continue to poke at my writing without much interest and then eventually go to bed.

~Dragon Eyes~

An Awful Waste of Space

I just finished watching the movie Contact. I absolutely love that movie. It really makes me think and wonder about what is really out there in the universe. I think that there has to be other people. It can't be just us right? I think there has to be others. Otherwise, as Jodie Foster put it, it would be an awful waste of space. I want to believe that there are others, but I have a feeling I won't find out in this lifetime.

I am also wondering if knitting can give you carpal tunnel. I have a feeling it could because I am having all sorts of problems with my right hand. I am wearing my wrist brace at night to keep everything from moving and that helps a bit, but as soon as I spend any length of time knitting my hand starts to bother me, especially my thumb. I really hope it's not carpal tunnel. That's really the last thing I need.

I think I am going to watch a little True Blood and then work on writing. I haven't done any in a long time and I think I should. I just have to get the motivation to do so.

~Dragon Eyes~

I Don't Think I Want to be a Cop. I Want to be an Actor.

Today has just been such a long day. I am really glad that it's pretty much over and I am sitting on my couch with my computer. I have also been madly knitting though it is taking a toll on me. My right had really hurts again. I have arthritic changes and such in my hands and wrists and am on joint supplements, but it's been pretty good for a long time. Now it's flaring up again. It's very annoying, but I keep on going. I'm sleeping with my wrist brace on at night like I used to to try and relieve some of the pain and stress on it. Oh well.

Today I worked on cleaning out my grandmother's kitchen. It was very strange to be in her house and going through her stuff and knowing she wasn't going to walk out of the living room and see what we were up to. It just was so weird. Some of the stuff we came across was really neat though. There is all sorts of things that my sister and I are inheriting. We packed up so much china today it was incredible. An entire box full. And guess what? There is just as much, if not more, downstairs in the basement. It's beautiful china. There is also a lot of furniture downstairs in the basement that I am claiming. Now all I need is an apartment to put it all in. But that means I need money and that is something I don't have right now. I really hate that fact. I also have a whole bunch of recipes of hers that I found and that I am going to have to go through and organize. There are so many!

Well that's pretty much all on my end right now. So it's back to knitting and maybe reading my book in a little bit. As well as finishing watching Hollywood Homicide. I love this movie.

~Dragon Eyes~

Gross Treasure Hunting

Today I finished my last day at work and it ended very well. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Even though I was beyond exhausted and ready to be done, I found myself sad to see the kids going off to complete their last three weeks of work in Hartford. We all helped each other clean the stalls today and work on building the kick wall in the indoor. Then some of the kids who wanted to ride got to get on some of the horses and walk and trot around with the counselors for a little bit. They also got to learn how to untack and brush the horses as well. At the end, we all got pizza and then played a rousing game of kickball in the indoor ring. Camp against Hartford Voag. Oh it was great! Everyone was all excited and Lori and Ruth watched all of us play. Kim Dance and Alex played as well and it was just a great ending. The girls gave me hugs as they left and that was that. I was given my money and was told my Ruth and Lori how much they loved and appreciated what I did. It was just a good day.

The rest of the day was spent at home going through old magazines, knitting (because finally I have some time to knit again) and napping. My sister ended up putting the dog on top of me while I was passed out on the couch. I guess that's my fault for staying out too late. Oh well. It was worth it all.

Tomorrow will be interesting. I am supposed to go work on cleaning out my grandmother's kitchen tomorrow with my mom and my sister. I have not stepped foot in the house since she died and I am a little afraid too. I don't know how strong I am but I am going to have to try and see how it all goes. Maybe we can bring some music to listen to to pass the time. I wouldn't mind that at all because that would make things a little lighter. We will see.

~Dragon Eyes~

The Toad the Weed Whacker and the Spider

Today was a much better day at work. Things actually went right for once. We still didn't have a lot to do but we managed. Tomorrow we are having some of the kids get on horses. That should be interesting. At least it will all be done after tomorrow and then I can sleep and go to the gym and get back to a normal life.

One of the kids was weed whacking by one of the paddocks when he randomly stopped and whipped out his cell phone. So I went over there and told him to put it away. That's when he told me he was taking a picture of a toad that he had almost killed with the weed whacker. I ended up picking him up and putting him towards water and cover. He was so big!

Eventually when we were working on moving rocks, a couple of the girls screamed and leaped backwards. Sitting on a rock was the biggest, ugliest spider I have ever seen. It was at least the size of a silver dollar. It was huge and fat. We eventually killed it an moved on, but we think it was a wood spider.

I am going out with Kyle and the others tonight. I can't wait to see him and have some fun with him!

~Dragon Eyes~

It's Like a Hurricane and a Tornado!!

We have seriously had some of the most wild weather in Connecticut today! The state was ravaged by severe thunderstorms. And when I mean severe I mean severe! Hartford county (where I happen to live) had a tornado warning! And the town next to mine actually had a tornado and tons of damage! The barn (where I was not at) lost power and water. My mom and I watched the storm from our kitchen. The two of us were standing at the kitchen door to the deck and watching the trees whip around as the rain poured down and the lightning did those scary flash bangs that I hate so much. Some of them definitely sounded as if they hit something. It was scary! That's when my mom and I turned on the tv and got the news and heard about the tornado warning and how we needed to get to a ground level floor and stay away from windows. Oops. Oh well! It was still impressive. I have never seen anything like it before!

Today wasn't a good day at work. I have never been so frustrated before. Okay, I have been but I haven't felt like that in a long ass time. I only have two days left but I am at the point where I don't even want to finish. They have pretty much run out of things to do with the Hartford kids and they are getting bored and I am so done right now. If I have to do stupid menial tasks like washing rags that have been washed twelve times over or clean the damn barn again I might just scream. There is nothing left to do. If they had something constructive for us to do then it would be different, but right now there is nothing but busy work. I hate it more than anything. I sat and chatted with Alex (the Mexican barn hand) for a while when I was overseeing kids weed-whacking. Even he is tired and such with it. Going tomorrow makes me feel so upset already. I am going to mention it to Lori. Maybe she can think of something. If I have to clean those stall bars and tack trunks one more time I might just walk away. I just can't do it anymore.

On a happier note I got my barn jeans. That was after my mom yelled at me about paper clipping my pants back together. I ended up going to goodwill and got some barn jeans and jeans for regular wear. Five pairs for $35. I can't say no to that.

I also finished the first season of True Blood. I loved it! I cannot wait to watch more tomorrow. Yes. I am an addict.

You know where I wish I was right now? The Seattle area so I can see my bestie Abby. I miss her so much and right now from reading her blog and talking to her this afternoon she is having a hard time. She is such a brave person and I know she can make it. If anyone can its definitely her. I just wish I could be there and hug her, tell her that and then laugh late into the night. Hang in there, love. I love you so much!

~Dragon Eyes~

Love The Way You Lie

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
~Eminem - Love the Way You Lie~

I heard this song yesterday and really listened to the lyrics for the first time ever and just sat there because as I listened to them I suddenly realized how true they are. It was one of the few times of late that I felt empty and hurt again, looking for the love I used to have. It's one of those things that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. For some reason something about the song brought back Mike in full force and for the first time in a long time I wanted to be with him. I know I am a silly, stupid girl to keep wanting him. It's hard to explain. If you have ever been with someone and felt that connection, then you would understand. But there is nothing I can do but move on and look to better and brighter things.

True Blood is heating up. I have been watching it all evening and can't stop. When I finally catch up I might just cry!

Tomorrow is work again and me doing nothing which is always awesome.

~Dragon Eyes~

It's So Fluffy!!!!!

I went out with Kyle tonight and saw Despicable Me. It was the cutest movie ever!!! I have decided that I so want little minions that look like twinkies with eyes. They babbled and everything and it was amazing! I don't think I have even laughed so hard in my entire life! I am probably going to see it again. To see the minions and the little girls would make my life complete.

I had a fun night with Kyle and get to see him again on Thursday and neither of us can wait. Now off to read before bed.

And on another note: True Blood = AMAZING!

~Dragon Eyes~

Pines Horse Show

Today was the first horse show I have done with my horse off property in at least six years. We got off to a bit of a late start but it all worked out well in the end because we got there at the perfect time and we didn't have to hang around the trailer for very long before we had to get ready and go. The show grounds were beautiful and we each had four classes to do. It was wicked hot, but we managed to make it through.

Ali and I did super well! Ali won the evergreen jumping class and then took two thirds in her jumping classes for the hunter division and won her flat class. I got a third in the evergreen class, didn't place in my first jumping class because I got lost on course and got a second in the second jumping class. I then went into the flat class and won against eight other people. Ali and I both were reserve champions for our divisions. It was a great day and I couldn't have been more proud!!

Tomorrow is work again and then I have to take my saddle to get fixed before I come home and get ready to go to the movies and dinner and other fun stuffs with Kyle. Now on to True Blood!

~Dragon Eyes~

Will it Stain Him Purple??

I am completely exhausted after today. It has been a very long and stressful day. I just can't wait for Saturday of next week because that means I can relax and do nothing. Which sounds fabulous. No work. No horse shows. No nothing. Just me and the gym. I like this very much.

Tomorrow is the horse show. Right now I am not really that nervous. My lesson today went really well and Grady was fabulous. I know the flat will be fine and the jumping shouldn't be terrible. I just have to remember to ride and balance my horse in the middle of the line. If I do that and take my time it will all be perfect. I hope. After the lesson, we hosed the horses off and went to get Subway with another little girl Allie. She had a lesson earlier and was hanging around to be picked up so she came with us and we bought her food. We then came back and ate and then cleaned tack and made it all pretty. Then we shaved and bathed Beau which was good because we had just put him in his stall with hay when Grace came to braid him. While she did that we clipped and bathed Grady and put him in his stall with hay so that he could be braided next. That's when I left to go let Jocelyn's puppies out and feed them.

This is where life went downhill. I got to the house and the doggies were happy to see me, so I put on their electric collars and let them out in the dog run that is attached to the garage to let them potty. Well, while I did this, the door closed behind me and locked me out. Uh oh. My phone and keys were in the house. And there was no way for me to get in. If I had the garage door opener it would be fine, but of course that's in the house. So I wander over to the neighbors. I struck out twice before the people across the street let me use their phone. I got a hold of my mom who had my dad come. We ended up taking the dogs back to my house where they roamed around the yard with Huey. Eventually I got numbers for Jocelyn (thank god for Facebook!) and eventually got a hold of them for the garage door code. So I took the puppies back home and they were so excited. I got back in the house, fed them, played with them and then said goodbye. It all ended well, but I am still kicking myself for not taking my keys and phone with me. But it's all good and the doggies went on an adventure with me. Yes. My life is just that crazy.

Ali and I have gotten all the stuff we need for tomorrow together and all ready to go. All we have to do is get dressed and grab the stuff and we are gone. We are leaving the barn between 9 and 930am and our classes go off at around 11. We are the first few divisions so we should get done fast and then be able to get the horses home early. Right now I am not really nervous. It's actually been more quirky than anything. Ali ended up looking for the hunt pins for the collar of my shirt for like 20 minutes because she put them in a place she wouldn't forget and forgot anyways. We found them so it's all good. Now I think I am going to watch an episode of True Blood and maybe knit before bed.

~Dragon Eyes~

Just One of Those Days

I am glad today is pretty much over. When you are in school Fridays are amazing, but when you work they are the worst day. Seriously. I really do hate Fridays. Something always goes crazy to make it that much worse. But before I explain that I will mention last night.

As always I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with Kyle. We hung at his house first before meeting up with everyone. Jocelyn was going to be there as well which was awesome because I would have someone to chat with that didn't care about video games and such. Also I hadn't seen her in forever because of her job. I truly do miss her tons. It was awesome catching up and being silly with her, because she seriously is one of my best friends and I don't know what I would do without her. The night was filled with the usual adventures. We ended up at Chilles instead because the kitchen at Buffalo Wild Wings was all backed up and the wait was super long. After that me, Kyle, Jocelyn and Christian went exploring "special stores" together. And I am so glad we didn't find fuzzy handcuffs. That would have made life interesting for me. I ended up getting home later than I wanted to, but it was well worth it in my book. I just hate that Kyle is so far away from me. Sniff.

Today was just a long day that needed to end. Work wasn't great. Everyone is frazzled and it didn't help that while we were cleaning stalls, other people started throwing hay into the loft and a horse we had out freaked, reared up and took out a light with her head. Yeah. That was just the highlight of my day. Ugh. I hate it when freak things like that happened. But everyone told me that it was an accident and there was miscommunication. I still feel bad about it though. No one got hurt, but I still feel like I could have done something. I ended up coming home right after. No way I was riding my horse. I just wanted out. I ended up getting Olive Garden with my Mom and sister. I really wanted my milkshake but that never happened. We also went to the bookstore. That always cheers me up.

I also hung out with Jocelyn for a bit today. She gave me my jewelry orders and showed me how to feed her dogs and guinea pig. I get to watch them tomorrow while they are out at their family reunion. I also helped and watched as Jocelyn worked on her dance/flag twirling routine for the talent show there. She is really good even though she kept telling us all she didn't think it was the greatest. She could have fooled me. I would try to twirl the colorguard flag but I probably would bust myself in the head with it. I stayed for dinner and such before eventually coming home.

I think I will watch some True Blood before going to bed. I have a lesson tomorrow and need to get ready for the show on Sunday. Right now I am really not looking forward to it. Maybe that will change.

~Dragon Eyes~

Spiders!!!

Today was another good day at work. Since it rained we had to improvise with what we were doing with the Hartford kids. We couldn't work outside so we got an indoor job. And let's say it took us ALL day. We had to clean the stalls, water and sweep as always and then we had to clean then entire indoor. We scrubbed all of the stall bars, used brooms to clean up cobwebs and spiders, raked the aisle, cleaned the tack boxes and organize everything. What a tedious and tiring job. The barn looked amazing in the end but it was hard work! I don't know what we are going to be doing tomorrow but I don't think I can do anymore cleaning like that. I am terrified of spiders and lets just say we found the biggest and ugliest ones imaginable.

After everyone left I rode (or attempted to ride) Junior. He was so awful that Gail and I decided to end and put him away. He has so many problems and I just don't know how they are going to get anything out of him. It's sad since he's a cutie. I then rode Grady. Night and day. I love him so much. He was a great boy for me and listened to me in the new spurs we are using. We did lots of flat and transitions and such. Tomorrow we are going to do poles and more poles. That should be interesting.

This evening I went out with Jeanette for dinner and shopping. I miss seeing her all the time so it's nice to go out and just have some fun. I got some good clothes and can't wait to wear them even though my mom and sister think my shorts are too small. Let me just say that there are people out there with shorter shorts than that.

~Dragon Eyes~

Two Waffles, A Piece of Chicken and an Apple

I am exhausted. Today was seriously the longest day ever. I worked from 9am to 1pm, then sat around the barn and then had a lesson that ran forever since we were doing bad and we are trying to get everything all set for the show Sunday. After today, I think we need a lot more work. I am supposed to ride Grady all week in English spurs and make sure he understands that he needs to listen to them. That should be interesting. Otherwise that was pretty much it for the day. I just came back from Denny's with the family and am not going to either knit or work on rewriting my chapter. I found that Breaking Benjamin's So Cold song is my muse.

Title meaning: This was Ali's food intake before dinner. The piece of chicken made me crack up.

~Dragon Eyes~

Pee With Confidence

Seeing as I self doubt everything that I do, my friend Kelly told me I should do everything with confidence even if that means peeing with confidence. So that is what I am going to do after I finish this blog. And then I am going to write with confidence. I am going to try some different inspirations for working on my story. I am going to try a soundtrack of music with Breaking Benjamin, but I am going to work on writing while watching V for Vendetta. I love this movie and it's pretty inspiring to me for some reason. If it works, I may be watching a lot of this movie!

Today was my first day at work and it went really well. The kids were really good for me and the other counselors and we cleaned stalls and painted fences. Tomorrow we are going to do the same thing probably, and then I have a lesson with Gail at 3pm. I am very tired, but it was all worth it!

The horse show is coming up. I'm nervous, but I think it will be okay. We will see how my lesson goes tomorrow.

~Dragon Eyes~

My Future

This hasn't bothered me in a long time. I don't know what happened to make me think about it again. Oh. That's right. My neighbor told me to apply to a long term substitute position. My mom hounded me and I looked it up and went to apply. Guess what?? You have to be a certified teacher. Too bad. I can't apply. Not that I'm heartbroken over it. My parents flipped a fit when I told them I couldn't. They want me to get certified and then go teach. Understandable. They want me to have a job and money and they want me to use my education. I will get certified. If I ever pass Praxis II that is. Which will be never. That test is impossible. And the next test in November. That dates aren't even posted yet. That's okay with me since I would rather not ever take that test again. In that one 30 second argument with my parents, I realized something: They are pushing me into doing something I don't really want to do.

I don't want to teach. Subbing is fine, but teaching? No. It's not for me. I don't want to be trapped in a building with kids who don't care. I'd rather be out there helping people and getting results. I don't want to be like all of those other jaded teachers out there. No. I don't want that ever.

I am going to go for the personal fitness training program again and I will stick with it. Maybe after doing that and getting a job, I can go back to school for physical therapy or something like that. I want to know that I am really helping people who want to be helped or need to be helped. I can motivate people. I can. I want to make a difference.

My ultimate dream is to be an author and write. I want to do something worthwhile. Besides, in thinking about it, what am I going to do with history besides be a teacher? I don't know.

I am going to try and follow my heart, but the path is just so obscured that I am afraid I will lose my way and get lost and end up as nothing but a failure. I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to have my parents look at me and say, "I told you so." But I can't give up. That's what failures do. And I don't want to be that.

~Dragon Eyes~

Must Knit Faster!

Sundays are going to be interesting days for a long while I believe. For as long as I can remember, I have been going to my grandma's house for dinner every Sunday night. There were the occasional days when I wouldn't be able to go, but I went a lot. It's weird to sit home instead of go see my grandma and eat the wonderful food she always made. Last Sunday was the 4th of July and I was at Jocelyn's house. This time is was different. I was home. But we made the day pass with watching the FIFA World Cup Final. Spain vs. The Netherlands. It was an insane game. I have never seen so many yellow cards given. It was a vicious game. Dirty soccer, but I felt the Spanish were very dramatic. One tap and they went down crying. The guy who got kicked in the chest had an excuse because that looked painful. Spain ended up winning and my sister and I were sad. We were really cheering for the Netherlands. We had been all through the world cup as well as back in 2008.

All through the game I knitted like a fiend. The more intense it got the faster I knitted. I started and finished a scarf today which for me is pretty impressive. I'm usually slow because I get distracted.

I finally got to see my horse today after not seeing him for over a week. I really have missed him and he looks really good, so I am happy. The tack boxes are being worked on again and two of them have doors right now! I can't wait for ours to be built. They are also going to be putting in viewing benches above the boxes and a wash stall will go in tomorrow. The Hartford kids that vandalized are getting put to work big time. Serves them right.

Tomorrow I start my two week job. It should be interesting but I am excited!

~Dragon Eyes~

The Bugs Like My Blood

I can't believe that I completely forgot to blog yesterday. I realized it this morning and was like, wow. But this time I remembered, barely. It has been a crazy sort of day. I have been going and going all day. This is the first time that I have been able to sit down and actually have some time for myself. Yesterday was a little chaotic as well.

Yesterday and went to get a new phone with my mom. The two of us were up for upgrades, and we desperately want/need them. My mom ended up getting the LG Ally which is a touch screen with a keypad. It's a very cool phone and we have all been playing around with it. She is finally figuring out how to use it for things. My phone is back ordered until the first or second week of August. The Droid Incredible. I cannot wait. I have the case and screen protectors. Now I just need the phone! By the time I get it I should be an old hat at touch screens. I just hope I get it before I go on vacation.

Writer's group was also yesterday. We met in the evening at Starbucks and Jaci, Kelly and I chatted, looked over comments and revisions and then did our usual freewrite. Kelly was all excited over all of the comments that I gave her to help her out with her plethora of awkward sentences as she tries to find the right voice. I have edited the first chapter of my story quite a bit, but I am going to move onto the second chapter and eventually go back and fix things after I go through the whole thing. In the meantime since Poison Mystery is at a wake and a funeral and I am not ready to write that yet, I have moved on to short stories for Collections of Nightmares. I have one in the works and ideas for three more on my desk. My desk is covered in Post It notes.

Today was wild and crazy. I went to a family party early in the day and then went to my neighbors house. They have a family weekend every July where their family and the neighbors get together and catch up. Us and our other neighbors have been going for so long that we have just become part of the family and are welcomed excitedly. It's just one giant family with food and games and the family t-shirts. Always a different color every year with their family crest.

After the party we came home, changed again and then went off to see our friend's art exhibit. Naia paints horse pictures, usually modeled and inspired by her beautiful mare Flame. She was very excited to display her art and there were a lot of people that came through to look at them and other artists that were on display. She was really happy for the support from all of us.

Tomorrow is the final for the FIFA World Cup and then on Monday I start my two week job overseeing troubled Hartford teens. That should be interesting. We will see how it all goes. Now I think I am going to go try some writing for a little while. Or a long while. Depending on how well my creative mind decides to work.

~Dragon Eyes~

My Bagel Bites are Soggy

Today was a low key sort of day. I woke up at like 11:30am to find the house empty save for the dog who was extremely happy to see me. I decided to eat some food and then go to the gym, because I have been failing miserably with going to the gym consistently. So I made myself some bagel bites and sat down to eat. I ate about half of them when my dad called saying he needed to be picked up from Firestone where he had left his car. Needless to say my bagel bites were sadly soggy when I returned. Oh well.

The gym was good and now I am all showered and ready to go to Milford for Buffalo Wild Wings and hanging out with Kyle. He is picking me up and dropping me back off today. I hope the poor guy doesn't get lost like he did last time. He is also going to meet my parents. That should be interesting but I think it will go alright. Until then I will go sit and work on knitting socks. I have never done it before so this should be very interesting.

~Dragon Eyes~

I Think I'm Melting

The last few days have been so very hot. I really hate the hot weather. Since I am Polish, I prefer the temperature to be between 50 and 20 degrees. That's when it is perfect. Above and below that point is bad. I also love snow. Lots and lots of it, and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Then again, I think everyone who likes this weather is crazy. Yesterday it was over 100 degrees! That's not right at all! I haven't seen or ridden my horse since Sunday. Between the wake and the funeral and everyone coming to visit and it being a billion degrees out, I decided against it. The air quality is so bad right now that it's not healthy. That's okay with me. Ali has been working with the City Slicker summer riding camp so she has been keeping an eye on Grady and the kids have used him. He is supposed to be painted tomorrow! It's so cute when they do it.

Otherwise I have just been hanging around and knitting. I am like a knitting machine right now. I keep chunking out hats and scarves like it's nobody's business. I am almost done with another hat that matches the scarf I finished last night. I think I am going to try some socks next. I have never done them before and people tell me its hard, but I am going to try. Why not challenge myself for once.

Tomorrow I finally get to see Kyle. I really have missed him and can't wait to spend some quality time with him.

~Dragon Eyes~

The Beginning of the End

Tonight was the wake from my grandmother. Lots of people turned out. Both friends and family. There were also a lot of people that I didn't know but that is usually the case we these things. It was hard, but I held things together. I started off bad and eventually got it together. It's hard because it just doesn't feel real. One minute she was there and then the next she was gone. I hate it, but I guess that's the way it has to be.

Tomorrow is the funeral. Then it will be over. I really don't want to go and deal with it all, but then it will be done and it will be back to picking up all the pieces. It will be hard, but I know I can make it through.

~Dragon Eyes~

Give Me Liberty or Give me Death

The fourth of July. Truly one of the greatest holidays in this country. I just love everyone getting together to eat, drink and light fireworks. It's a nice laid back summer holiday. My family here in Connecticut never does anything for the day so I went to Jocelyn's house with all of her family. It was one of the best days! There was good company, food, alcohol, the pool and crazy pool games followed by desert and fireworks and board games. Yup. You can't go wrong with all of that. I just arrived back home and am probably going to be doing a little writing before I go to bed. That always makes me happy.

Tomorrow will be harder. I only hope I can make it through. If I can do that I'll be okay.

I hope the gym is open. That will make me feel better as well as maybe going to AC Moore. I love that store. There is so much I can do there!

~Dragon Eyes~

I Hid Under Your Porch Because I Love You

Dug the dog from the movie Up always puts a smile on my face. There is just something about a big lovable dog. This is why I will always be a dog person. Can a cat really give you the same kind of love and loyalty as a dog? Nope. There was a Pixar movie night on Stars HD and I watched Monsters Inc, Walle and Up. Perfect night. I also managed to knit a hat that is the perfect size! It only took me five tries to do it, but I have written it down and now I can makes hats like a pro! I also bought more yarn today so that I can work on my Harry Potter scarves and hat series. I can't wait to work on them. Right now I am making a very loud scarf. I love the bright colors so it should be interesting to see when it is all done.

Today has been a decent day. I went to the barn early and rode three horses and then came back here and watched tv, knit, and play video games. Last night for some reason was really hard and I just felt so alone. It was probably the fact that there was silence in the room next to mine. Usually my dad snores like a truck driver and the walls rattle. Last night there was only silence. And silence does things to people. I talked with Kyle a bunch and he tried his hardest to comfort me. I wish he had been with me and not 45 minutes away. It was just so hard. For once, crying myself to sleep didn't work. I resorted to music and eventually passed out. I think the silence was what did me in. It was late and dark and I suddenly felt alone. There's no other way to describe the alone and helpless feeling. I'm sure with time it will get better and I know I have amazing people around me.

Some of my relatives from New Jersey are coming up Monday. The wake is Monday and the funeral is Tuesday. Once that is over with things might start to get better. But right now it's hard. I hate it when things are in limbo as they are right now. The thing that I fear the most is what comes after. We have to do something with my grandma's house and everything in it. I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go inside and see everything, all the memories, all the pain. That will be one of the hardest things and I don't know if I can do it. But enough for now. It hurts enough as it is.

~Dragon Eyes~

Scocks

I am doing okay. Each day brings with it something new, but I am taking everything as I go. I know there will be worse days and better days. All I know is I have an amazing support system and thank all of the people who have stretched out a hand to me and my family.

Last night I had a lot of fun with Kyle. It was nice to be able to go away and be away from pain and sorrow for a while. I was able to go to Buffalo Wild Wings with everyone and just have a good time. I was happy to be with good friends and my boyfriend. They were all able to take my mind off of everything and keep me happy. It was one of those things that I never wanted to leave because leaving meant coming back home and back to reality. But it has to happen, because life just doesn't stand still. On a rather interesting note (or disturbing): I think biting is kinky. And that's all I have to say for that one.

Jocelyn started her clinical and from what I've heard from her and through facebook, she is doing well and is very happy with everything. I am super glad for her and can't wait to see her on Sunday for her fourth of July party. That will be nice to get away from home for a little while. Makes life a little brighter.

Today wasn't a bad day all things considered. After coming home at 3am I ended up getting woken up at 930am for the curtains to be put back on the windows. That was rather interesting. I still don't have blinds, but I do have curtains. I guess it's better than nothing. Ali's saddle was ready to be picked up so the two of us packed up and went out there and picked it up. I bought my horse a nice leather halter with a name plate. I figured that he should have a nice one after I've had him for 9 years. Then we went to the barn where I ended up riding my horse and this other horse Diego. He was a sweetie but he has a habit of bucking people off and rearing. I didn't die, so that was all good. Coming back home from the barn was hard because I was so busy out there, but I can't avoid home forever. The night has passed decently so far and now I am going to force myself to write since I haven't written anything new in a long time. I have just been editing like mad. So I think the change of pace will be good.

And in case you're wondering, scocks is the combination of sucks and cocks. Do not ask. It's better you didn't know.

~Dragon Eyes~

Death Just Isn't Fair

Everybody tells you that life isn't fair. I even say it, but in some ways death is worse. There is nothing as final as death. It takes away loved ones, leaving others behind to mourn. It takes the very young and the very old. It takes the strong and the weak. It takes the ones that deserve to die and it takes the ones who do not. It is not picky. It just comes and goes silently.

My grandma died today. It was one of those things I never expected to hear. One minute life was fine and then the next it wasn't. I know she was old and her health wasn't great, but it was still a shock. I just say her on Sunday and she was fine and now this. My sister feels especially guilty since she missed dinner on Sunday. It's not her fault. How was she supposed to know.

I don't know when any kind of services will be held, but I dread going to them. I dread them more than you can possibly imagine. Tonight I am supposed to go out to dinner with Kyle and everyone. I can't sit at home. I need to go somewhere and do something. And right now all I want is to be held.

~Dragon Eyes~