The Stranglehold

Anxiety. It's something we all feel and experience. Sometimes more than we should experience. Right now anxiety is my cage and it has trapped me behind bars thicker than steel and stronger than anything else on earth. Never in my life have I felt this way before, even when I moved off and went on to college. That was very stressful but nothing like this. This is such an overpowering emotion that I can't escape from. I feel like I am drowning, but I'm not under water. I feel like I'm being strangled but there are no hands around my throat. Only those who deal with anxiety on a regular basis would understand what I am talking about.

I really want to talk to my roommate and explain things to her. I really do, but right now I feel like she is unapproachable. I know what I want to say to her and how to put it all non aggressive "I" statements. I just can't get her alone and I don't want to do it with my other roommate around. She will just try to butt in and make it about her. That's something I don't need either. She's already probably put thought's in my other roommate's head. Ugh. I hate it all. I wish life wasn't so damned complicated.

On a happier note I had a 2 hour delay so I got to sleep later before student teaching and then I went to the mall after I picked up my paycheck. I deposited it so now I have some money and I went and bought a cookbook and then met my bestie at TJ Maxx to look for stuff for Valentine's day. I ended up finding the most gorgeous black dress ever and a red shirt. The boy isn't going to know what to do with himself when I put that dress on! Be he won't be getting anything from me. I've only known him for a little bit and it will take more than just a few times hanging out for him to get sex. If he really likes me, he will respect that. I hope he does, though now he says he wants several pics of me without clothing. Oh my.

~Dragon Eyes~