The Wanderings of a Restless Mind

I think we have all been in this place. Lying in the darkness while our mind ceaselessly wanders from one thing to the next. Never settling on one thing long enough. Always moving to the next thing. And then it all stops, slamming to a halt on one thing and never let's go. Then you lie in bed in the utter silence of The darkness as your mind runs away with itself. And nothing you can do can stop it. You are just along for the ride wondering when it will end.

Yup. That where I am at at this very moment. Staring at the ceiling and letting my mind run away with itself. Again.

I wish there was a way to make it stop so I can just go to sleep and either dream good dreams or not dream at all. That would be ideal. Not dreaming at all. It would be easier that way. For lack of anything better, I am not flogging this to you on my phone in the darkness of my room. School draws closer and still I can shut my raging thoughts off so that sleep can come. No. Here I lie while my brain rules all.

I think of things I shouldn't be thinking about. People I shouldn't be with but want to be with and people I want to be with and should be with. I think of everything I have to do to make it through this week. When I will be able to exercise. When I am going to do stuff with my horses. When am I going to find a job and get money in my pocket. I feel as if my life is passing me by as I watch helplessly from the sidelines and you wonder why I can't sleep....

Yes. This is where I reside. In a frenzied uncontrolled chaos I call my mind. One voice clamors one thing and then another one pipes up and then my dual personalities go at it while I sit along for the ride. Sometimes I really hate being a gemini with my two personalities that are constantly at war with each other, vying for power and dominance. I would write and edit my stories to take my mind off things but they are unfortunately within reach but out of reach. So I will blog here instead until I fall asleep. Or try to. Or not to.

~Dragon Eyes~