Just Another Day

Now that I have gotten home and have eaten a second dinner I have no motivation to do anything. I was going to work on lesson planning and my student teaching portfolio but I just don't feel like doing either. I guess I could work on them on Friday when I have nothing to do all day. I just don't want to do anything. I would rather be done right now and never go back to student teaching if it was up to me. I just don't like it enough to do it for five more weeks. Ugh. Five more weeks of hell. Then I am officially done and don't have to do anything. I hate feeling this unmotivated and unhappy when I think of student teaching and school but that's what it's all come down to. I just want to start working towards being a personal fitness trainer now.

Being up at school was kind of like a double-edged sword. I had to sit in class and listen to everyone talk about their field placements and about all this creative stuff they were doing and such. It just makes me feel like I am not putting in the same amount of work or am as good at this as they are. I hate sitting in that class and feeling like I am a total screw up and am just barely making due. I would rather do something that's meaningful and that I am really good at.

The good part was I got to go to dinner with Jeanette and got to hang out with Abby, Amanda and Sam for a little bit. I love my friends and love being with them. I would rather spend all day with them then do student teaching anymore. It just doesn't make me happy. It pulls me down farther and farther and by the end of the week I am struggling to keep going. I just need it to all be over with so I can sleep and do nothing. I am just so tired...

~Dragon Eyes~