"True friends stab you in the front."
~Oscar Wilde~
~Oscar Wilde~
Friends hurt you. That's just part of nature. Friends hurt you for a reason. They do it because they care and most of the time they explain to you why they hurt you. Sure, you are mad at them about it, but in the end you see reason and understand that they didn't do it intentional. They didn't do it to hurt you deeply and completely. They stab you in the front. They do it where you can see it and know where it is coming from. There are no mysteries with that.
But when friends stab you in the back it hurts. It hurts in ways you could never imagine. It's like part of your heart dies. It's a pain that cannot be matched by anything else short of a gunshot wound. The people you loved and trusted like family suddenly show their true colors. They show you what is really inside them; cold black hearts. The pain can either consume you or make you stronger. You can either give in to everything or step up and be strong. Giving in and giving up is something I cannot do. I refuse to. I am a compulsive quitter by nature but this time I won't. I won't let student teaching get the best of me and I won't let my roommate either. This is my battle to fight and win. And I will win.
The pain that I felt last semester is gone. Anger and hatred has replaced that. I look on with cold, jaded eyes. I am the Dragon and I will not be pushed under and away. Not this time. I am my own person I will do whatever I have to in order to gain some respect.
I am sick and tired of living in my room with my roommates. It's the same annoyances and hassles day in and day out. I am a senior in my last semester of college and I shouldn't have to deal with any of this. I live with five other girls. You couldn't ask for a worse kind of hell. Two are step sisters and one of them happens to be a drug addict. Neither of them are going anywhere with their lives. Reeni is fine. I love her to death and we get along really well. I also love Ginger. She is one of the most hysterical people I have ever met and I wouldn't take anything back with her. And then there is Jeanette. She's the one I have the problem with. We lived together last year and I never had a problem. She changed this year and not for the best. She's loud and obnoxious and immature. As I sit in my room all I hear is her voice. Whenever she is around she has to be the center of attention. It doesn't matter if others were there first and chatting. She butts in becomes the figure in the spotlight. I'm through with it. Especially tonight.
When I walked in the room Jeanette and Reeni were there and they were really quiet until I got in the shower. I just knew when I walked in that they must have been talking about me or something right before I came back. It is the only explanation that I can come up with right now. It hurts, especially when they made dinner and didn't poke me. Usually when one of the three of us makes a big involved dinner we invite everyone. Yup. I made my own dinner tonight and it was better than what they had. I just hate it all. I wish I could be in a room that wasn't so stressful and annoying. I keep telling myself that there are so many things to look forward to. The sex toy party tomorrow and girl's night on Friday. Then I work all weekend and keep on going. Next weekend I am going to go home and Spring Break for school will mean I can spend the entire week at home. Yeah. I really do hate all of this.
~Dragon Eyes~
But when friends stab you in the back it hurts. It hurts in ways you could never imagine. It's like part of your heart dies. It's a pain that cannot be matched by anything else short of a gunshot wound. The people you loved and trusted like family suddenly show their true colors. They show you what is really inside them; cold black hearts. The pain can either consume you or make you stronger. You can either give in to everything or step up and be strong. Giving in and giving up is something I cannot do. I refuse to. I am a compulsive quitter by nature but this time I won't. I won't let student teaching get the best of me and I won't let my roommate either. This is my battle to fight and win. And I will win.
The pain that I felt last semester is gone. Anger and hatred has replaced that. I look on with cold, jaded eyes. I am the Dragon and I will not be pushed under and away. Not this time. I am my own person I will do whatever I have to in order to gain some respect.
I am sick and tired of living in my room with my roommates. It's the same annoyances and hassles day in and day out. I am a senior in my last semester of college and I shouldn't have to deal with any of this. I live with five other girls. You couldn't ask for a worse kind of hell. Two are step sisters and one of them happens to be a drug addict. Neither of them are going anywhere with their lives. Reeni is fine. I love her to death and we get along really well. I also love Ginger. She is one of the most hysterical people I have ever met and I wouldn't take anything back with her. And then there is Jeanette. She's the one I have the problem with. We lived together last year and I never had a problem. She changed this year and not for the best. She's loud and obnoxious and immature. As I sit in my room all I hear is her voice. Whenever she is around she has to be the center of attention. It doesn't matter if others were there first and chatting. She butts in becomes the figure in the spotlight. I'm through with it. Especially tonight.
When I walked in the room Jeanette and Reeni were there and they were really quiet until I got in the shower. I just knew when I walked in that they must have been talking about me or something right before I came back. It is the only explanation that I can come up with right now. It hurts, especially when they made dinner and didn't poke me. Usually when one of the three of us makes a big involved dinner we invite everyone. Yup. I made my own dinner tonight and it was better than what they had. I just hate it all. I wish I could be in a room that wasn't so stressful and annoying. I keep telling myself that there are so many things to look forward to. The sex toy party tomorrow and girl's night on Friday. Then I work all weekend and keep on going. Next weekend I am going to go home and Spring Break for school will mean I can spend the entire week at home. Yeah. I really do hate all of this.
~Dragon Eyes~
No comments:
Post a Comment