I was going to the barn and put up an away message saying something to the effect that I was going to visit my man aka Grady. Grady, while he is a horse, is the most dependable man in the world and I positively love him for it. He is the only man in my life that has my entire heart. And apparently Andrew, who has heard me dote on my horse like this before, got wicked pissed, left me an aim message stating he was glad that I got everything I wanted and goodbye, and then broke up with me on facebook without even texting me or waiting to talk to me first. I was kind of at a loss and kind of guilty because I had wanted to end things with him so bad but just not in this fashion. I should have done in sooner but that's the problem with long distance relationships. So I told my mom and she told me to send him a message. So that's what I did. It was an apologetic message saying I was sorry things ended this way and I had really wanted to talk to him about it and such. Well, I got a response back.
The response was so low. He went on and on and on that I was immature and acting like a 10th grader and shit like that and then he was telling me I wasn't talking to him and never put anything into the relationship and stuff like that and that he wanted me to give his stuff that I had to either Alex Renner or Abby. I have shortened a lot, but needless to say, after talking to one of my friends, he had pulled the same bull that her ex-boyfriend did and everything he said was just like him. He was taking his flaws and projecting them onto me and making me look like I was the one at fault with all of this. Ha. Ha.
In the message that he sent me he proved full well that he was nothing more than an immature 10th grader. I tired. Oh, I tried. I went along with him and had him up to Eastern a bunch and dropped a lot of things to spend time with him. And normal boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other in the relationship. They talk at least every day over the phone at least. We didn't have that. We never had a real phone conversation and there would be stretches of days where we didn't talk at all. Oh, that's healthy. And honestly, if he was concerned he could have contacted me. It wasn't like I was ignoring him. If he talked to me I talked back. I didn't just leave him hanging. And let's say that I tried with everything. I put all I could into the relationship and what did I get? I got roughly grabbed and thrown around by his drunk self and there is no way in hell I am going to deal with that.
He ended up sending me a message back before I sent him one stating that he was sorry for the severity of the last message before continuing to complain about me and making fun of the fact that I go talk to my parents. Just because he has a bad home life doesn't mean I do. Family is supposed to help each other. So far I haven't received a message back from him after telling him I didn't think I could ever talk to him again at this point.
My friends have been amazing through this whole thing. Both Amanda and Jocelyn keep telling me that my friends will not turn their backs on me and side with him and that they would never abandon me. I really hope so because if he tries and turns them on me he's going to discover how wrong a move that was. My therapist isn't going to know what to do with herself when I tell her about this and my awful feelings of depression I have been battling for the last couple semesters and even couple of years.
~Dragon Eyes~
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