I managed to get back to my room last night, get ready and go to bed without anyone noticing me. There was no one around and I couldn't have been more thrilled. The last thing I needed was to be set upon by anyone. But as soon as the door to my bedroom was closed and locked I suddenly felt a terror I couldn't imagine. I was in my room alone. I was in a place that had been easily broken into. It was dark and I was alone; so terribly alone. I took the chair to my desk and propped it up against the door. If anyone tried to get into my room they wouldn't be able to without making a bunch of noise and waking me up. I slept sporadically and would wake up and look around my room to make sure there was no one there as well as that my computer was still sitting on the desk.
I woke up at 9:45am when I heard my roommate get into the shower. I then booked it and grabbed my stuff and left at 10am. My roommate, who happened to be Jeanette, was still in the shower when I left. I can always count on her to take extremely long showers. Not good for the environment but good for me.
Well when I got home I decided to take my ipod and plug it into my computer so that I could transfer the songs off of it and onto my itunes. I plugged it in and it died right in front of my eyes. The screen wouldn't come on. It wouldn't turn on plugged into the computer, my car or just by itself. It had completely and utterly died. Devastation. First my computer, then my ipod. My ipod had committed suicide over the loss of my computer. Music is my life. My ipod is my life. I never go anywhere without it. My mom sat there and watched me cry at the kitchen table, handed me money and told me to go get another one. She knows how I cherished my nano. It was two years old and it was my last connection to my old computer. It would have given me all the other music that I had lost and in one tiny moment it was gone.
Finding the black ipod classic that I wanted was something else. I went to four different stores. No one had the ipod classic in black. Just silver. I didn't want silver and ended up coming home and crying more before the Best Buy on the Berlin Turnpike came up with the black ipod classic. My dad took me there and we got it. Five stores later, a whole hell of a lot of crying and swearing I was going to never go back to Eastern and student teaching I finally had my ipod. I came home and fooled around with it, all the while still saying I was never going to go back to school or student teaching. I really don't want to anymore. There is no love for either now. I just want to go home and hide from the world. Andrew texted me over and over again telling me I couldn't give up and that he would never let me. Ugh. I love him for it, but I hate him for it as well. I want to quit and never come back. It would just be so much easier if I could.
An officer came by work as usual today and I ended up finding out from him that they had just been down to my room and had questioned Jen about everything. They are pretty damn sure she is involved and are going to do everything they possibly can to figure something out for me. That will probably be awkward when I go back there and meet with her face to face but at this point she is looking guiltier and guiltier. My computer was stolen from my locked room. I have ever right to follow up on it. I'm definitely going to warn Ginger and Reeni about it all. They have a right to know, though Reeni probably does if the police were there and she was too.
I'm definitely going to try and switch rooms. There's no way I can live there any more. All I have to do is see what goes.
~Dragon Eyes~
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