"I get by with a little help from my friends."
~The Beatles~
~The Beatles~
I finally had my therapy session today and laid out everything about Andrew and the breakup as well as the fact that I'm just not happy and that I haven't been happy for a long time. We talked at length about everything and such. It was hard to tell someone that I wasn't happy and that I think I might be having a problem. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it needed to be said and I'm glad that Suzanne was so understanding and accepting. She told me after listening to me she doesn't believe I am a mental case (after I called myself one). That also made me feel a little better. I also told her that in talking to my mom I discovered how many people on her side of the family have had some sort of mental illness or depression and that 5 out of 6 siblings died because of it all. Yeah. That's a lot. We also talked about medication and if I had ever considered it. The funny thing is that I never thought about it at all until last weekend when my sister and my friend Erica mentioned it. I scheduled an appointment with the nurse practitioner to get an evaluation and try something. It's not for another two weeks or so, but that's fine with me. I am a little worried about it all but I think it will be for the best. It has to do something and make me feel a little better.
While I was on facebook earlier this evening I received a chat message from Alex Moura. Since the whole breakup with Andrew I had been worried. Alex is one of my best friends. I have known him since freshman year of college where we both lived in Crandall and played pool until the two of us were blue in the face. I also have a crush on him for a couple of years. There is just something about that kid that I can't get over. But after the whole thing with Andrew I was hoping the two of us would still be on good terms. He has known Andrew since our freshman year as well and is very good friends with him as well. I was worried that Andrew would have gotten to him and turned him against me. When I got the message I was excited and worried at the same time.
It turned out that I was worried about nothing. Alex was curious about everything that had happened with me and Andrew and I filled him in on the whole thing. His reaction was the exact same as everyone else, including my roommate Keri who thought Andrew was a pussy about the whole thing. Alex felt that Andrew had overreacted and was really immature about the whole thing. He feels that it probably boiled down to experience and how Andrew has none. We also talked about the alcohol that was involved and even Alex had thought it was weird that Andrew drank constantly when I was there. He also didn't seem super thrilled when I told him how Andrew had gotten rough with me and I had decided enough was enough. He felt bad for me and we both laughed over relationships and how overrated they really are. As he put it, when you are single all you want to be is in a relationship, and then when you finally are in a relationship all you want to do is be single. I completely agree. The both of us have had issues with relationships and both decided that right now it's not worth it. I might be going to hang out with Alex in West Hartford this weekend. He felt we should have a nice face to face conversation and such. I'm down for it and hope that it works out and I do get to see him. He is one of my best friends and is like an older brother to me.
Tomorrow is Friday. I can do it and then I can sleep for the entire weekend!!
~Dragon Eyes~
While I was on facebook earlier this evening I received a chat message from Alex Moura. Since the whole breakup with Andrew I had been worried. Alex is one of my best friends. I have known him since freshman year of college where we both lived in Crandall and played pool until the two of us were blue in the face. I also have a crush on him for a couple of years. There is just something about that kid that I can't get over. But after the whole thing with Andrew I was hoping the two of us would still be on good terms. He has known Andrew since our freshman year as well and is very good friends with him as well. I was worried that Andrew would have gotten to him and turned him against me. When I got the message I was excited and worried at the same time.
It turned out that I was worried about nothing. Alex was curious about everything that had happened with me and Andrew and I filled him in on the whole thing. His reaction was the exact same as everyone else, including my roommate Keri who thought Andrew was a pussy about the whole thing. Alex felt that Andrew had overreacted and was really immature about the whole thing. He feels that it probably boiled down to experience and how Andrew has none. We also talked about the alcohol that was involved and even Alex had thought it was weird that Andrew drank constantly when I was there. He also didn't seem super thrilled when I told him how Andrew had gotten rough with me and I had decided enough was enough. He felt bad for me and we both laughed over relationships and how overrated they really are. As he put it, when you are single all you want to be is in a relationship, and then when you finally are in a relationship all you want to do is be single. I completely agree. The both of us have had issues with relationships and both decided that right now it's not worth it. I might be going to hang out with Alex in West Hartford this weekend. He felt we should have a nice face to face conversation and such. I'm down for it and hope that it works out and I do get to see him. He is one of my best friends and is like an older brother to me.
Tomorrow is Friday. I can do it and then I can sleep for the entire weekend!!
~Dragon Eyes~
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