Here We Are

"The lonely road, the one that I should try to walk alone."
~Here We Are - Breaking Benjamin~

There isn't much new for me to report today. It was kind of a low key day. The only real piece of news is that last night right before I was going to bed, I got an IM from Andrew. Now I haven't really spoken to him since last Sunday. I will admit that I have been kind of avoiding him a little bit. I want to break things off with him but there is just no real easy way to do that. It needs to be done. I can't sit around like this anymore. I want to get out there and show people who I really am. If only he didn't live so far away. Then I would have ended this at the beginning of the week. I've actually started to wear my ring upside down again which signifies me being single. Anyways, back to the IM. We said hi and stuff and he asked me what I was up to and then the kicker. He was like, "I want to get this off of my chest...are you annoyed with me?" I think I was waiting for this comment for a while, but when I was looking at it, I couldn't think of one thing to say. So I did my usual tactic. I told him we needed to talk but that it would have to wait because I was going to bed. I got no response. And still nothing today. In other words I really do hate all men.

It's so nice to be home from school and I won't have to go back till next Sunday. I'm super stoked about the whole thing. I'm getting closer and closer to the end and May and graduation. It just needs to come now, so I can be done.

In other news, I think I might take some grad school courses as Wesleyan. It's expensive but it's an amazing school and quite a few of the teachers at Nathan Hale Ray High have been there and loved it. I'm really excited about it!

Tomorrow is Amber's wedding. I still can't believe this is it. It just seems too soon and everything. I'm so happy for her and wish her all the best in the world. But this wedding has also thrown into light my lack of Mr. Right. I look around me and everyone seems to have someone they love and care about deeply. I would love to have that connection with someone, but there's something that just won't let me get too close. If I get too close I pull away. This has happened more times than I can count. I don't know. I just hate it. But tomorrow is Amber's day and I am going to be there (probably crying from happiness for her). It will be a long day, but I think it will be amazing, and who knows. I might find someone there at the wedding. I highly doubt it, but anything could happen I guess.

~Dragon Eyes~